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Published 09:44 7 Aug 2016 BST
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Well, actually no. Turns out the Arsenal legend has gone all Jason Bourne with his severe new look. The beard now has manly full coverage with no signs of cultivation, and he looks impressively ripped.
But most strikingly of all, he's only gone and shaved his beautiful hair.
On Saturday evening, Pires uploaded an image to both Twitter and Instagram showing him training hard with a personal fitness coach. The sight of their suave hero with a buzzcut was all too much for Arsenal fans everywhere.
For the record, we think it's a definite improvement...
https://twitter.com/piresrobert7/status/762047744387215360
https://twitter.com/FPLPunditry/status/762099136766152705
https://twitter.com/marky249/status/762048006036328448
https://twitter.com/ohnahbah/status/762063656813297664
https://twitter.com/northbanklower/status/762048209854328832
https://twitter.com/CM_Reidy/status/761979058251005952
https://twitter.com/Ati_U_85/status/762048932696428545
https://twitter.com/crandall87/status/762191057564135424
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