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13th Feb 2017

A few questions about these Manchester United fans’ painfully terrible banner

Did a child make it?

Simon Lloyd

The absolute state of this.

Quite possibly the most cringe-tastic thing to have ever been seen outside Old Trafford on a matchday. And seeing that the place is regularly crawling with plenty of half-and-half scarf-wearing, selfie stick-clutching embarrassments to football fandom for every single home game, that really is saying something.

Widely mocked by football supporters of every creed (regular match-going United fans included), we’ve had a few days to try and come to terms with the image above, taken ahead of United’s game with Watford on Saturday afternoon. Although we still haven’t fully got our heads around it, we have come up with a list of questions.

Who is responsible for it?

While we’re all in agreement that this is one of the most terrible things ever seen in English football life, it takes on an entirely new level of awfulness when you consider that someone genuinely believed that this was a good idea. Worse still, they went beyond this stage and had the thing printed out as a fucking massive banner. The chances are that this is the brainchild of one of the four blokes standing around it… or perhaps there’s another explanation…

Did a child make it?

Not that this makes it okay, but you’d kind of understand it a bit more if it turned out to be the work of a seven-year-old… a really, really shit seven-year-old. This considered…

Do seven year-olds still use Comic Sans?

Probably not. The worst font ever known to mankind, even primary schools have long since put the kibosh on it on the off chance that it might singlehandedly caused them to fail an Ofsted inspection.

Why did the Daily Star describe it as ‘hilarious’?

Seriously. Why?

How much did this cost?

As well as having the idea in the first place and deciding to press ahead with it, we should also remind ourselves that there will have been a cost involved. Yep, somebody, somewhere paid actual money to have this thing made.

What is it even trying to say?

Manchester United fans take a great deal of delight from the fact that Steven George Gerrard never got his hands on the Premier League trophy. As a result, the image of his famously costly slip against Chelsea in 2014 has been widely circulated in the time that’s passed since. Never before though, has it been passed off as a poorly-executed dab and compared with the far more intentional dabs of Paul Pogba (in his Juventus days, for some reason) and Jesse Lingard. IT. DOESN’T. MAKE. SENSE.

How incensed were the travelling Watford supporters by this banner?

Of all the games to roll it out for, the visit of Watford seems an unusual choice.

Has this man ever dabbed in his life?

Can Manchester United receive a points deduction?

Almost certainly not, but at the same time, few United fans would argue if the FA did decide to step in.

How much did this man not want to be a part of this picture?

With his drawstring Manchester United bag slung over his shoulder and one of his magnificent official Manchester United trainers anchoring the banner to the damp concrete floor, this bloke has the look of a man who wants absolutely no part in this. Just look at that face.

Did it even make it into the ground?

We’re guessing that after a slightly awkward exchange with a steward on the turnstile, this most hideous of banners didn’t even see the insides of Old Trafford.

Catch up with this week’s episode of 888sport Football Friday Live