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25th October 2021
11:04am BST
It's a marathon, not a race[/caption]
Climaxing often seems like the end goal but it's fairly anti-climactic to then roll over and watch TikTok in silence for three hours.
"An orgasm should be seen as a happy by-product of getting it on, rather than the goal. Sex is a journey, and focusing too much on orgasms puts a huge amount of pressure on both parties. And if there's one thing that's a mood-killer, it's pressure," Payne says.
She suggests enjoying sex "regardless of the outcome", which for women, is probably devoid of orgasm anyway. Sorry Chad, you just ain't as good as you think you are.
Spending longer than two minutes away from the Xbox isn't going to kill you[/caption]
There are some situations where watching the clock is a method of survival like that last hour at work, before a big meeting or counting down the minutes before the in-laws vacate your living room and return home until next Christmas.
But sex should never be timed. Sure, hurried and rushed sex can be exhilarating but you don't need to get out the stopwatch and role-play as Olympic time recorders.
Don't be a Will[/caption]
"There's a whole big wide world of sex positions out there," says Payne.
"So it's time to change it up."
No one is suggesting that you need to copy every position in the Kama Sutra but sometimes shaking up the routine can bring much-needed excitement to the experience.
Ask yourself the question: "Do I like this position, or is it just easy?"
Your body is a temple![/caption]
A small glass of wine can certainly heighten the mood but sensations are lost with each drink you slug down.
Another thing to be mindful of is how full or hungry you are before sex. If you are starving, you're probably only going to think of a big cheeseburger the whole time, which is not exactly the sexiest food choice on the planet.
In contrast, you don't want to feel stuffed to the point of practical paralysis.
Jack and Rose knew beds were boring[/caption]
The bedroom is excellent but it can become so repetitive at times.
"Your goal isn't to turn them on; your goal is to keep the desire alive," Payne says.
She suggests bringing intimate actions into other areas and not just the bedroom. This doesn't necessarily mean getting jiggy on the washing machine but can instead be a passionate kiss while cooking or skin-on-skin contact while watching a movie.
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