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22nd Feb 2018

New ‘Meet me at McDonald’s’ haircut causes outrage in schools

I feel attacked

Oli Dugmore

Headteachers have a big issue with the new trend.

Boys will be sent home or placed in isolation if they have the “Meet me at McDonald’s” haircut, a school has warned parents in a letter.

What exactly constitutes a “Meet me at McDonald’s” lid isn’t explained but, as someone who used to work in one I think the above image is a pretty good estimation, judging by its density on the high streets of British market towns.

The headmaster of Great Yarmouth Charter Academy, Barry Smith wrote to parents banning the following barnets:

  • Noticeably longer tops that are not layered in and combined with sharply contrasting sides and back
  • Variations of the style often known as ‘Meet me at McDonald’s
  • Overgrown, heavy fringes brushed forward onto the face
  • High top styles of excessive height
  • Shaven parting lines
  • Hair that is teased to give excessive height
  • Any type of Mohican hairstyle

So essentially any hairstyle worth having, goddammit Barry is nothing sacred?

He added that he would notify the families of offending boys directly and if their child’s hair was not restyled they would “either be sent home to have their hair restyled or placed in isolation until their hair is restyled.”

Barry didn’t elaborate on the specific dimensions/structure but according to a barber in Norwich it’s “a grade zero or a one on the sides, then disconnected with a perm or curly on the top and you have it sitting forwards.”

Last year the school was rated the worst-performing in Norfolk, prompting the Charter Academy rebrand and introduction of a buzz-kill head who caught headlines in September for introducing strict new rules.

This has prompted parents, concerned at the efforts to improve the school, to found a Facebook group called “Yarmouth High Worried Parents.”