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31st Oct 2024

‘Mum called me selfish for refusing to switch seats so she could sit with her kids’

Charlie Herbert

‘I’m wondering if I was too rigid’

A passenger has sparked debate about how they refused to give up their booked seat on a plane to a mother who wanted to sit with her kids.

The woman had pre-booked the aisle seat, explaining that sitting by the aisle helped alleviate her anxiety when flying.

But when passengers boarded the flight and she sat down, a mother came over to her and asked if she would like to swap seats.

In a post on the Am I the A**hole Reddit page, the woman wrote: “She wanted my seat so she could sit closer to her kids. I looked at where her seat was, and it was a middle seat near the back.

“I politely declined, explaining that I’d paid extra specifically for this seat and wasn’t comfortable switching. She got visibly upset and started calling me selfish, saying her kids needed her nearby for the flight. The flight attendant even tried asking me to reconsider, but I stood my ground.”

The mum eventually swapped seats with someone else, but the woman later heard her during the flight complaining to other passengers.

She continued: “She gave me the cold shoulder the entire flight. I could hear her talking to the people around her about how rude and ‘heartless’ I was. Now I’m wondering if I was too rigid.”

The woman asked the Reddit community if she had indeed been ‘the a**hole’ for not giving up the seat initially, or if she shouldn’t feel guilty.

One person replied: “You’re definitely not the a***hole. It’s on the airline to fix this, not on passengers who already paid extra to sit where they want.”

Another agreed, asking: “Why is it that these people always want the better seat instead of shifting the kids back to her row?”

A third user stated: “As tough as it may sound, it’s her problem and not yours. In a situation where you haven’t paid extra for this seat, and wouldn’t feel anxious in a different seat, I might say otherwise, but in your situation, absolutely not the a**hole!”

Someone else said: “You were under no obligation to switch, so your decision stands.”

“The fact you had a specific reason you didn’t want to switch only reinforces your right not to. Without it, it was still a valid choice. I don’t like flying. I have purchased the seat next to me (yay for companion fares!) just to have some physical space and control the anxiety. I have said no many many times. Yes, it can feel a little harsh, and I believe that you should always be kind. but be kind to yourself first.”