On Wednesday, the UK invoked Article 50, officially starting negotiations to leave the EU.
It's been nine months in the making, and for many people years, if not decades, of waiting has come to an end. For others, let's just say they haven't been looking forward to it quite as much.
It's a historic day, so for the sake of posterity, we've kept a diary of how (nearly) everything went down. Hopefully this will go on to be an important document, like the Domesday Book, Samuel Pepys' diary, or a first edition copy of
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
The Night Before Brexit: May signs the letter that will take Britain out of the European Union.
https://twitter.com/TelePolitics/status/846837699218694146
Contrary to some reports, the letter did not simply read "lol jk, plz let us stay", nor did it contain a detailed drawing of a middle finger, bearing the caption "Fuck y'all, we out this bitch".
The contents of the letter would be revealed around midday on March 29, known in EU circles as B-Day.
The morning papers are published, ranging from the gleeful...
https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/846996243331059713
To the uncertain...
https://twitter.com/guardian/status/846837865027915777
To the downright classy.
https://twitter.com/IntSetOfNews/status/846965457445904385
If there's one publication you can rely on for a measured and elegant response to the big news of the day, it's The Sun.
Britain wakes up on B-Day. Some are in a good mood.
https://twitter.com/OhBitchPls/status/847019345918279680
https://twitter.com/Of_Mice_And_Ben/status/846980629636009984
https://twitter.com/Little_G2/status/846961666197798912
Others, less so.
https://twitter.com/maggnetto/status/846972305020465153
https://twitter.com/CmdrMajere/status/846979947394744321
https://twitter.com/samreids/status/843790554634903552
But whether waking up this morning was good or bad, happy or sad (is there a less appropriate song to quote at this moment than
Let's Stay Together?), today was going full-steam ahead.
As the triggering of Article 50 loomed, on the whole everyone was still happy with their vote.
https://twitter.com/YouGov/status/846986985998835714
There were reports of people 'Bregretting' their vote to Leave back in June last year, but according to this YouGov survey, at least, it seems they were in the minority. But Bregardless of how anyone feels, Brexit is Breally happening. Not Bright away, but as soon as is Brealistically possible.
The pound threw a bit of a wobbly.
https://twitter.com/Brexit/status/846993434363809796
The poor old pound has had a bit of a rough time of it, lately. Up, down, left, right, backwards, forwards - the old dear must be ever so dizzy. No wonder it's taken a tumble.
Nigel Farage suggests that he will probably be in the pub, having some real, down-to-earth ale.
https://twitter.com/SkyNews/status/847003694482804736
And if Brexit proves to be a total disaster,
he'll go and live somewhere else. Spoken like a true patriot. Or a master troll. Honestly, it's hard to tell these days.
The Telegraph reports that the delivery of Theresa May's letter will be done in secret to avoid any hiccups.
https://twitter.com/RobDotHutton/status/846982497741275138
Picture it:
A mob of Remainers with water guns, squirting the letter to make the ink run, thus rendering the words unreadable and preventing Britain from leaving the EU.
Or a rabid Ken Clarke grabbing it out of the civil servant's hands and scribbling a big 'NOT' at the bottom.
Damn, why did no one think of that before?
EU President Donald Tusk went ahead and spoiled the secret by confirming that the letter will be delivered at 13:20 (12:20 GMT).
https://twitter.com/eucopresident/status/846983434484494338
So much for the secrets, then.
A leaked copy of the EU's response to Article 50 suggested that this will not be an easy ride for the UK.
https://twitter.com/DanielBoffey/status/847017522599788545
The gist of the response, according to Guardian journalist Daniel Boffey, is:
- A future relationship agreement between the European union and the UK “can only be concluded once the United Kingdom has withdrawn from the EU”
- There may be a transitional deal for after 2019 to ensure that custom controls and barriers on trade are not enforced on day one of Brexit, but that these arrangements should not exceed three years
- The European court of justice will be responsible for settling any legal challenges during the transition period
- The UK will be able to revoke its notification of article 50 but this must be “subject to conditions set by all EU-27 so they cannot be used as a procedural device or abused in an attempt to improve the actual terms of the United Kingdom’s membership”
- There will be no special deal for the City of London
- The cut-off date after which EU nationals coming to the UK lose the automatic right to residency in the UK must not be before 29 March 2019
- Britain should pay all its liabilities “arising from outstanding commitments as well as make provision for off-balance sheet items, contingent liabilities and other financial costs that arise directly as a result of its withdrawal”
Sorry, when it comes to leaving the EU, that's about as 'gisty' as it gets.
A YouGov poll showed what referendum voters want to see back after leaving the EU. Top of the list: the death penalty.
https://twitter.com/JoeTwyman/status/847017907800412160
A hearty 53% of Leave voters would like to see the return of capital punishment, while 48% would like to see Britain go back to selling goods in pounds and ounces.
Unfortunately, there's no word on how many voters want to see 'thee', 'thou' and 'thy' officially rejoin the English language, or whether we should be allowed to shoot Welshmen from the top of Leeds Castle on a Sunday with a bow and arrow.
We'll keep you posted.
Like every Wednesday at 12 pm, it was Prime Minister's Questions, which had a distinctly muted mood.
https://twitter.com/Channel4News/status/847073778718986240
It was an odd atmosphere, a bit like a funeral, except one half of the mourners were really glad that the deceased was dead and had to stifle their cheers out of politeness.
The only real questions on Brexit concerned Northern Ireland, Scotland and the famous Brexit bus that bore the promise to fund the NHS with the £350m we send to the EU every week (except
that's not an accurate figure, but who gives a shit about facts anymore).
Corbyn questioned the PM on police and schools budget cuts, giving May more of a light toasting than a grilling. Former SNP leader Alex Salmond cheekily asked if the timing was right to trigger Article 50, which the PM quickly slapped down.
https://twitter.com/Telegraph/status/847044834036797440
People on Twitter were outraged that there weren't more questions on Brexit.
https://twitter.com/cunning_chops/status/847046441294053376
https://twitter.com/JoeSONeill/status/847046258846027777
https://twitter.com/jjarichardson/status/847043250955452416
Perhaps they were unaware that the next three hours would be entirely dedicated to the subject.
President Tusk confirmed that he received Theresa May's letter.
https://twitter.com/eucopresident/status/847047933405093892
Nine months? Delivered?
The UK is happy to announce the safe (if tumultuous) arrival of our baby Brexit, born at 12:20 pm on 29th March 2017, weighing several billion pounds.
Theresa May released her Brexit letter.
https://twitter.com/PA/status/847055045405368320
It goes on for a few more pages, much longer than your usual resignation letter, which would read something like:
Dear Mr Tusk
We hereby tender our resignation from the European Union.
As per our contract, we will serve out our notice period of two years, plus any ludicrous legal costs.
Thank you for the experience. We ask that we be allowed to use you as a reference for joining any future international unions.
All the best
The United Kingdom
In the letter, the PM says she wants a “deep and special partnership” with the EU - a phrase she uses seven times - but understands that we can't cherry pick the bits we want and the bits we don't (want: membership of the single market, don't want: freedom of movement, all that bloody red tape).
The main thrust of the letter is that it would be a bad move for the EU to stiff the UK on any deal as our security and intelligence capabilities are so important to Europe, which is unarguably true, if a little 'give us your sweets or we'll do your nut in'.
And here's the letter being delivered to President Tusk.
https://twitter.com/eucopresident/status/847048551792291840
You can't tell from the photograph, but the UK's ambassador to the EU Sir Tim Barrow handed over the letter saying, "You've just been served, bitch."
Theresa May made her statement to Parliament on Article 50.
I'll be honest, this went on for absolutely fucking ages, so after about 45 minutes I went to go and get some lunch.
According to Speaker John Bercow, the PM was on her feet for three hours and 21 minutes and answered questions from 113 backbenchers, and she didn't even get a Sainsbury's meal deal out of it, so good on you, Theresa.
In her statement, the PM said:
"This is an historic moment from which there can be no turning back. Britain is leaving the European Union. We are going to make our own decisions and our own laws.
"We are going to take control of the things that matter most to us. And we are going to take this opportunity to build a stronger, fairer Britain – a country that our children and grandchildren are proud to call home."
She said a lot of other stuff too, but there's only so many hours in the day and I get one of them in which to eat my chicken and stuffing sandwich.
There wasn't much in the way of laughs, but the PM's call for "liberal, democratic values" almost made Tim Farron wet himself.
https://twitter.com/JPickover/status/847064341757251584
It seemed that Corbyn was saving all of his gusto for his response to the PM's statement, where he got very ranty indeed. However by this point in Corbyn's tenure as Leader of the Opposition, it's a wonder anyone's still listening.
Remain supporters might have appreciated this kind of ferocity before the referendum, but better late than never, eh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=httXhBoXhx0
Meanwhile, Nigel Farage was very literally down the pub.
https://twitter.com/liarpoliticians/status/847084849458528258
On his own, mind. It's lonely at the top.
Donald Tusk had a sorrowful message for the UK: we miss you already.
https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/847063020077400069
Only Leavers with the stoniest of hearts could not be a little touched by this. No one's pretending that the last 20-odd years have been easy, but it's the end of an era, like a divorce.
For whatever reason, it didn't work out, but we had some good times and now we have to think about the future.
Really,
really hard.
In summary, whether you're a Leaver or a Remainer, this image basically says it all.
https://twitter.com/CllrBSilvester/status/847017914951761922
