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29th September 2016
08:47pm BST
Apparently Jordan must have wronged a spider God, because he had been bitten on the penis by a spider in almost the exact same circumstances five months ago.
Jordan says he was he was bitten on "pretty much the same spot" by the spider.
"I'm the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment," he told the BBC.
"I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time.
"I was like 'I can't believe it's happened again.' I looked down and I've seen a few little legs come from around the rim."
You'd think being bitten on the penis by a spider (a highly-venomous redback spider no less) would put you off using portable toilets for good, and... you're pretty much right.
"After the first time it happened I didn't really want to use one again," he said.
"Toilets got cleaned that day and I thought it was my opportunity to go use one. Had a look under both seats and then I sat down did my business. Next thing you know, I'm bent over in pain."
So how did his co-workers react to finding their friend and collegue, doubled over in pain, on the verge of dying from being bitten on the dick?
They mostly took the piss.
"They got worried the first time," Jordan said. "This time they were making jokes before I was getting in the car."
Eventually a co-worker took Jordan from the worksite in north-west Sydney to Blacktown Hospital. Jordan was released from hospital and said he expected to return to work soon but was unlikely to be using the on-site toilet.
"I think I'll be holding on for dear life to be honest," he said.
You and us both mate. Rest up pal. Let us know if you develop superpowers.
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