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12th January 2018
06:28pm GMT
Let he who hasn't had a quick spin on a Deliveroo worker's bicycle on a night out cast the first stone. For some reason, a decent amount of alcohol often results in many of us deciding that we are entitled to 'a quick spin' on anything that passes through our eye line during a night out. In the instance pictured above, Taylor and Future have clearly nicked the holiday rep's boat for a quick spin.
Taylor buys stupid things that she'll never even use
The length of that therapy couch is outrageous, also it's ever so slightly slanted and therefore in dire need of a stack of beermats to restore equilibrium. Taylor didn't need a couch that big to complete her life, a simple armchair would've done the job. Shaq should never have sold her his therapy couch. It's far too big for her tiny little body and screams of a 4am drunken eBay purchase.
Taylor often fails to notice that the cat needs letting out
Sorry Taylor, when you're done sitting moodily on a stool under extravagant candlelight which is bankrupting this video's entire budget, would you mind letting Sammy out to do his dirty business? He's patiently waiting to go and you're just ignoring him. If you can't stick to your chores that solely consist of letting the cat out to take a shit, maybe we should find someone who will. And take your shoes off in the house, they'll scratch the wooden floors.
Taylor Swift definitely knows how to have a good time
She's in Tokyo with Ed Sheeran and Future, so you better believe she's going to have a good time. Taylor Swift is just like you and I. She will eat a bowl of noodles as two local friends look on in glee. She will playfully steal Ed Sheeran's glasses and then put them on upside-down like some sort of nutter. This is very clearly a girl who knows how to have a good time.
Taylor still drinks juice boxes even though she's 28
Taylor Swift is in Toyko, she will have a juice box to keep herself hydrated if she bloody well wants to. You might have an impression of her in your head that involves champagne, caviar and writing salty songs about her ex-boyfriends, but that couldn't be further from the truth. She also drinks juice boxes exclusively when she's in Tokyo.
Taylor flirts with people that she doesn't fancy for reasons she can't quite explain
Forget everything you've heard. There's nothing going on between these two. Sure, Taylor playfully put on Ed's glasses upside down and is now booping his nose like you would a cat, but they're just friends. Taylor gets on better with guys, there's just less drama. Girls can be very catty and she just doesn't need that kind of negativity in her life. Got it? Good.
Taylor finds herself in nonsense situations like a party where people are listening to a Walkman...
The year is 2018. Walkmans have been out of circulation for precisely the right amount of time that allows them to come back into common use. Taylor Swift attends some pretty cool parties, ones where the attendees wear Christmas cracker hats and listen to music using one singular seat of headphones. Maybe Taylor will release her next album on cassette because she is tOtAlLy RaNdOm.
...and using your Dad's old camcorder which now comes in hot pink
He'd take it out twice a year - Christmas morning and during your birthday party - but did you know that it also came in hot pink? This girl is at the trendiest party of all, so she's brought the hottest accessory imaginable. It's a hot pink camcorder. She's got a hot pink Talkboy in her pocket and she is ready to get crazy. Ugh, you just wouldn't believe how insane Taylor Swift's life is. The people she surrounds herself with are crazy nostalgic.
Taylor Swift drinks pints because she is ONE OF US
In a move that tested most positive with the focus group, Taylor Swift now drinks pints. During this extremely relatable video, she queues at the bar like a regular person, then emerges with a pint of beer. She probably ordered it using precisely those words. Then she returns to her large group of friends (as she is very popular) and engages in a mass cheers, in which her glass stands tallest because she is the most important.
Taylor plays the knock off version of Snake because she didn't fancy paying 99p for the official one
Taylor Swift, like the massive legend that we've learned she is, will sit on top of the bar at a party and play a game of snake while the festivities carry on around her. Nothing will get between Tay Tay and her high score, not even the temptation of some sweet sweet nectar. Fun fact: During her 73 Questions interview with Vogue, Taylor said that her favourite cocktail was a vodka and Diet Coke. One. Of. Us.
Taylor sits at the back of the bus because she's hard as nails
It's closest to the emergency exit and it's more facilitating of groups, but also it's the seat of those that are tough as balls. Taylor sits at the back of the bus, which is a regular mode of transportation that she uses, because she is one relatable gal. Understood? She is a tough cookie and also very down to earth.
Just like the rest of us, Taylor ends her night out with a bag of chips
Sure, she skipped the queue, got served immediately and had enough space to pass some chips back to her friend without any arguments ensuing, but the overall concept is a very relatable one. At approximately 1am on a night out, your brain will become fixated on chips. Your eyes will deceive you as your friends visibly turn into chips and the conversation morphs into "Chips chips chips chips chips". Taylor Swift might be worth $280 million, but she still experiences urges just like the rest of us. If you don't find Taylor knee deep in a bag of chips at 1.30am after a night out, you should play the lotto because that is a very rare occurrence.
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