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Published 16:07 4 May 2017 BST
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How dare he cut a ribbon and allow me to poorly Photoshop him into another situation
How dare he sign some kind of book and allow me to guess his wording
How dare he present Kylie Minogue with a certificate thereby begging me to interfere
How dare he pose for a photograph that I have altered based on his previous gaffes
How dare he look pensive near such a hysterical helmet
How dare he look at his wife
How dare he look horrified
How dare he wave, how very dare he
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