Facebook’s value rises by $13 billion after 18-word Kylie Jenner tweet

Welcome, all, to the end of days.

On Wednesday Kylie Jenner sent out the following tweet: https://twitter.com/KylieJenner/status/966429897118728192 Since then, these things have happened: Snapchat has lost $1.3billion. Their main rivals Facebook, who own Instagram, have added $13billion in market value. The earth has continued to rotate on its axis. The ancient Egyptian god Anubis, the guardian of the scales, used to weigh the hearts of the deceased against a feather, determining whether their mortal being was light enough to enter heaven, whether they were truly worthy of the eternal afterlife. Kylie Jenner is now Anubis. I repeat, Kylie Jenner is now a Jackal-headed god of the underworld capable of immortalising or banishing the world's biggest tech companies as she pleases. Jenner's words, words as mighty as "ugh" and as delicate as "sooo", added around $1.4 billion to the value of Facebook, each. Ugh. This is so sad. Will she ever realise that with great power comes great responsibility? https://twitter.com/KylieJenner/status/935021697949769729 I'm gonna go ahead and say... no.