Doctor reveals seven tips to reduce performance anxiety in the bedroom

Take notes

Many men experience performance anxiety when it comes to fun under the sheets, but there are at least seven tips which can help in reducing this type of anxiety.

And this tends to happen more around dates such as Valentine’s Day, when your partner might expect the best from you after a romantic dinner out.

“Around Valentine’s Day, there can be added pressure to feel confident and sexually ‘ready’, which can heighten anxiety for men who have previously experienced erectile difficulties. Performance anxiety is incredibly common, and it can quickly become a cycle where worry about maintaining an erection actually makes it more difficult to do so”, according to Dr Donald Grand, GP and Senior Clinical Advisor at The Independent Pharmacy.

Communicate openly with your partner

Dr Grant says that “performance anxiety can quickly worsen when it’s kept a secret, further increasing the risk of erectile dysfunction (ED). For this reason, communication is crucial. Many men worry about being judged or disappointing their partner, but in reality, avoiding the conversation often increases tension and pressure. Speaking openly about how you feel can provide much-needed reassurance, reduce stress, and create a more supportive, relaxed environment.”

Look after your physical health

This is also very important, according to the expert.

He says that “there are numerous ways we can adjust lifestyle to reduce factors that can increase performance anxiety or ED. Regular physical activity, maintaining a healthy weight, and eating a balanced diet rich in fruit, vegetables and whole grains can all make a noticeable difference in supporting and improving blood flow, making it easier to achieve or maintain an erection.”

Avoid alcohol before sex

It seems that something that many tend to do before sexual activity is drink alcohol, but it seems this causes more harm than good.

According to Dr Grant, it contributes to erectile problems for men, among other issues.

“Drinking alcohol before sex is one of the most common but overlooked contributors to erectile difficulties. While alcohol may initially help someone feel more relaxed or confident, it’s actually a depressant that can interfere with nerve signals and restrict healthy blood flow, both of which are essential for maintaining an erection”, he says.

“Over time, excessive alcohol consumption can further worsen sexual performance and limit blood flow, so it’s important to enjoy a drink in moderation”.

Focus on relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques matter, as they result in you being less stressful and not having performance anxiety.

“Deep breathing, grounding exercises and practising mindfulness can all prove effective ways to calm the mind and nervous system, which may help to manage performance anxiety and stress around sex. Erections rely massively on relaxation, known as the parasympathetic response, so heightened stress can directly interfere with sexual function. By slowing your breathing, focusing on physical sensations, and staying present in the moment, you can help reduce the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response”, Dr Grant says.

Reduce porn-related pressure

Dr Grant says that “exposure to unrealistic portrayals of sex, particularly through pornography or social media, can create unhealthy expectations around performance, leading to increased stress or anxiety. This is known as porn-induced erectile dysfunction. We previously conducted research on this topic, uncovering that 88% of surveyed men aged 18-24 view it as a serious health issue. By limiting porn consumption, men can help reset unrealistic expectations and reduce performance anxiety this Valentine’s Day.

Prioritise sleep

“Sleep plays a vital role in hormone regulation, including testosterone levels, which are important for sexual function. Poor sleep can also increase stress and reduce energy levels, both of which may contribute to erectile difficulties or performance anxiety. Therefore, I recommend aiming for around 7-9 hours of uninterrupted rest each night to support physical and mental well-being”, the expert advises.

Seek medical support if it persists

“Finally, anyone who is experiencing constant erectile issues should seek medical advice rather than suffer in silence. ED can sometimes be an early warning sign of underlying health conditions such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes or hormonal imbalance, so it’s important to monitor sexual performance carefully. A GP or pharmacist can help assess potential causes and discuss appropriate treatment options.

Dr Grant has also revealed that erectile dysfunction issues may be an indicator of much bigger health problem, as in the UK, as many as one in five men are affected by ED.