
Lifestyle
Share
Published 10:59 2 May 2016 BST

Where are all my things?
What is on my face? Is that BLOOD? Nope. It's ketchup.
Who did I text?
Worse... who did I call?
If I turn off my phone I won't know and I can ignore it.
Does everyone hate me? I feel like everyone hates me.
Food might fix me.
Food might kill me.
Worth a shot though.
WRONG. SEND AN AMBULANCE.
There's only one thing for it - a Netflix marathon.
My couch still loves me.
Text from unknown number. Dear God this can't be good.
Well, it's friendly... so that's a good start.
Flashback! Did I snog someone last night? I remember a dance-off but...
I'll call the mates and we can compare notes.
I have a pain in my face. From laughing.
No one hates me. I know this, but it doesn't make The Fear any less real.
Never again.
Until next time.

Explore more on these topics:
Lifestyle
Wowcher launches mystery football shirt deal for £27 and you can win your favourite World Cup kits
‘Highly recommend if you want something unique, fun, and hassle-free.’ With the World Cup bringing football fever to millions of fans, now could be the perfect excuse to surprise the football lover in your life or even yourself with a thoughtful gift. If you’re searching for a present that any football fan would genuinely enjoy, […]
Lifestyle
5 days ago
Why you should put bowls of water on windowsills during heatwave
You have probably never heard of this one In the UK, households are being encouraged to place bowls of water on their windowsills, as high temperatures are not expected to go away anytime soon. Summer still has a long way to go, so tips on how to stay cool are practically a lifesaver. Throughout much […]
Lifestyle
1 week ago
Lifestyle
Making one bedroom change will help you sleep during heatwave – but nobody talks about it
Lifestyle