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Published 10:59 2 May 2016 BST

Where are all my things?
What is on my face? Is that BLOOD? Nope. It's ketchup.
Who did I text?
Worse... who did I call?
If I turn off my phone I won't know and I can ignore it.
Does everyone hate me? I feel like everyone hates me.
Food might fix me.
Food might kill me.
Worth a shot though.
WRONG. SEND AN AMBULANCE.
There's only one thing for it - a Netflix marathon.
My couch still loves me.
Text from unknown number. Dear God this can't be good.
Well, it's friendly... so that's a good start.
Flashback! Did I snog someone last night? I remember a dance-off but...
I'll call the mates and we can compare notes.
I have a pain in my face. From laughing.
No one hates me. I know this, but it doesn't make The Fear any less real.
Never again.
Until next time.

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