Pineapple is a perfectly legit pizza topping, and we're willing to fight you over it
"This is pizza, not fruit salad!"
Conceived in Germany, born in Canada to Greek parents, and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii – pineapple pizza isn't everyone's idea of the perfect slice.
#NeverTrustAnyoneWho puts pineapple on a pizza
— 🕸️Lee🕸️ (@KUN__16) May 13, 2016
The origin of the topping is sketchy at best. The first pineapple pizza is believed to have been created in 1960 by eccentric investor and amateur chef, Sam Panopoulos, then owner of the Family Circle Restaurant in Ontario, Canada.
Ever since it's humble beginnings though, "the Hawaiian" – as it has since become known –has graduated to become a staple of global food culture, and an iconic image associated with beaches, sunsets. and stoners having a lunchtime snack.
While many people can't handle savoury and sweet things mixed together, others complain hot pineapple is a sticky, gross mess that can only ruin a perfectly good pizza.
Completely destroy someone in two steps:
1. Order pizza
2. Put pineapple on the pizza
— Victoria Sofia (@Ideal_Victoria) May 12, 2016
The easiest way to let people around you know what a weirdo you are is to confess your liking for pineapple topping on pizza.
— E-tard (@Etard0) May 7, 2016
If you're the sort of person who is attracted to contentious issues and controversial debates however, the Hawaiian is probably for you. It's basically the Donald Trump of pizzas: rich, brightly coloured, and leaving a sour aftertaste in your mouth.
Pineapple, wonder food
Scientifically speaking, there are a number of reasons you might want to consider pineapple on your pie. For one, the heat retention on pineapple means it'll stay hot even after the rest of the pizza has cooled.
Pineapples also contain high levels of bromelain, a proteolytic enzyme, which has a whole slew of health benefits. Bromelain has been shown to be an effective anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxant, and digestive aid.
Modern science has proven beyond a doubt that consumption of vitamin B2, one of the many important nutrients found in pineapple, is critical for improving reaction times.
Therefore, eating pineapple on your pizza will make you better at sex, and video games.
Sweet, sweet goodness
The same bromelain enzymes in pineapple can aid healthy digestion, proven to break down meat rapidly in your stomach and increase fertility.
@PokeKellz Pineapple on pizza is so great.
— Matt Tilby (@itstilby) May 4, 2016
They are also what gives the fruit its distinctive flavour. Then there's that spurious and wholly unconfirmed rumour that pineapple can make your semen taste sweeter, though the evidence suggests this is largely anecdotal.
Next time you're craving pizza, don't listen to the hardcore purists – pineapple deserves to be a legit option.