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8th September 2016
11:49am BST
If you already know about shower beers, then you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say there’s something about a shower beer that sets it apart from other beers. It’s a bit of a “so wrong and yet so right” kind of thing – the outdoor sex of beer drinking.
And if you’re coming here without a fucking clue what a shower beer is, here’s a handy 7-step guide:
1. Go to fridge
2. Grab ice-cold beer
3. Go to bathroom
4. Get naked
5. Get in shower
6. Crack open beer
7. Enjoy
Yeah, it’s as simple as you suspected.
If you’re doubting this whole concept right now, it’s probably for one of two reasons: one, you think it makes no sense – drinking beer in the shower just seems impractical, what’s wrong with the pub? Or two, you think I’m making the whole thing up and this is just some shit prank I’ve decided to pull on the internet.
I can assure you though, the shower beer is definitely a thing – there’s even an entire subreddit devoted to the it, where people share pictures of themselves enjoying their brews.
And on the whole impracticality thing, yeah I’m not going to lie, obviously drinking your beer on a chair and without lots of hot water falling on you makes more sense, but since when has sense ever been fun? As Patches O’Houilihan (RIP) once said: “Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway, because it’s sterile and I like the taste.” Just swap “my own urine” for “a shower beer” and “sterile” for “refreshing as hell” and you get the idea.
That’s the thing – there’s something about washing the day’s dirt off you while simultaneously enjoying a cold beer which multiplies the “refreshinginess” by a factor of like five. The juxtaposition of the cold beer and the hot shower just works (just remember to keep your thumb over the hole at the top if the bottle or can while you’re not drinking, you don’t want to actually be mixing the beer and the water, do you?).
It’s versatile too, is the shower beer. If you’re late for pre-drinks and you’re in a rush to get ready, it’s the solution. It can be enjoyed as part of a pre-lash or just on its own after a long day at work. It works in a cold shower on a hot summer’s day or a hot shower on a cold winter’s night.
So if you do one thing this weekend, crack open a can or bottle of your favourite beverage and hop in the shower. Give it a try and tell me you don’t feel great at the end of it. And to think, you’ve been wasting every shower you’ve had in your life up 'til now just washing your balls.
Images via Reddit's /r/showerbeer.
