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Food

26th Dec 2016

The definitive ranking of chocolate bars from the Cadbury’s selection box

Everyone's got their favourites.

Paul Moore

You might prefer to tuck into a Nestlé selection box over the Christmas period, but it’s very likely that a Cadbury’s one will be in your vicinity over the coming few days.

If Santa was good enough to bring you one, here’s our ranking of the following chocolate bars from the Cadbury Giant Selection Box (it has the most bars in it)

16) Dairy Milk Buttons.

The perfect treat for kiddies and a fine snack…BUT…they’re not a bar.

That’s why they’re propping up this list.

Buttons

15) Picnic

It has a low ranking for exactly the same reason nobody likes to get fruit and nuts when they’re trick-or-treating for Halloween.

Unlike the other bars in this list though, some of which also contain fruit and/or nuts as well as chocolate, the Picnic just isn’t as aesthetically pleasing. It’s an ugly bar to look at.

Picnic

14) Wispa

I never understood the appeal to bring back the Wispa. There’s barely any eating in it.

Yep, that’s a hot take. Fight me.

Wispa

13) Dairy Milk – Whole Nut

Let’s just say if someone was stealing this bar from your selection box, you wouldn’t mind.

DMNut

12) Flake

Ask yourself this, when was the last time that you bought yourself a Flake in the shop?

It breaks far to easily and it’s more delicate than Daniel Sturridge’s hamstrings.

Flake

11) Curlywurly

Any adult that buys this in a shop should actually be locked up for doing so…BUT …because it’s so strange, there’s a unique charm to it that’s synonymous with Christmas.

It’s like Fairytale of New York, you’re only allowed to indulge in it for a brief period of time before it vanishes into an 11-month long hibernation.

CurlyWurly

10) Dairy Milk – Fruit and Nut

Classy, elegant and statesmanlike.

It’s far too dignified a bar to be devoured in a greedy and glutinous fashion.

It needs to be savoured over a cup of tea, which is why it’s not the go-to item in the selection box.

FruitAndNut

9) Fudge

It may be small, but it packs a punch.

Because it’s so rich, the ratio of sugar, butter and milk must be on the money.

It also ranks highly due to its size, perfect if you don’t want to gorge on chocolate for breakfast (yes, we said breakfast – it’s Christmas after all), but still fancy something sweet.

Fudge

8) Crunchie

If the Christmas morning adrenaline rush had a chocolate equivalent, it would be this.

The only drawback is that because it’s so rich, after eating a Crunchie, you usually don’t enjoy any other bar as much.

Still a fine entrant.

CrunchieBar-For-Cat

7) Twirl

Good texture to the chocolate, it’s far more solid than the Flake and it goes really well with tea.

It’s like Sevilla – a really strong contender to win the Europa League of chocolate bars, but it just hasn’t yet made the breakthrough on our list.

Twirl

6) Freddo

Christmas is synonymous with nostalgic memories of your childhood and no bar is better at personifying this than a Freddo.

The little bar that could.

Freddo

5) Caramel

Smooth, silky and sensuous.

Even the advertising for the Caramel is designed to seduce you.

To be fair, the Caramel is just a flirt that wants to be devoured.

Caramel

4) Chomp

They should just rename this the ‘Champ’.

It’s the perfect mix of size, taste and sustenance.

Chomp

3) Dairy Milk

My esteemed colleague Tony Cuddihy ranked this bar as the greatest one that’s on the shelves in a recent article.

His logic is sound: “When you’re this good, you don’t need frills. The bar against which all other chocolate bars are judged.”

It’s still a remarkably good bar, but it’s not top of my list.

DairyMilk

2) Boost

Chewy, chocolaty and sweet but most importantly, it hits the right balance between filling you up and not feeling like you’re bloated.

Boost

1) Double Decker

Rumour has it that God himself created this bar.

It’s a food group in itself because it contains just a hint of coffee that’s coated in an upper whipped nougat layer. All this without mentioning the lower layer of cereal ‘crispies’ that are coated in milk chocolate.

Be honest, you would lick the empty wrapper if you knew that nobody was watching.

Double-Decker