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13th Aug 2018

18 dorky texts we all would’ve sent in the 90s if we could

Losers, every single one of us, complete and utter losers

Ciara Knight

Texting, am I right?

Do you ever wonder how texting could’ve impacted history? Specifically, 90s history. Maybe the Y2K bug could’ve rested on a chainmail text message which you had to forward to 10 friends or all your devices would become infected by midnight. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky’s affair could’ve been exposed a lot sooner if he accidentally messaged ‘U up? x’ to Hillary by mistake. Diana and Charles could’ve decided to get divorced via texts rather than in person. Then Charles could’ve saucily texted Camilla rather than having his steamy phone calls intercepted.

It’s likely that we all would’ve texted our friends and family complete garbage in the 90s, much like we do today, but with very different points of reference.

For no reason other than hitting those sweet nostalgic SEO results, I’ve mocked up some 90s text messages we all would’ve probably sent.

Relive the magic.

1. Pressing Family Matters


2. Sustenance Requests


3. 90s-specific Panic


4. Sibling Tensions


5. Hard-hitting Insults


6. Technology Issues


7. Inaccurate Pleas


8. Essential Queries


9. Restrained Excitement


10. Tense Negotiations


11. Fashion Consultancy 


12. Communication Arrangements


13. Family Commitments


14. Overwhelming Excitement


15. Cultural References


16. Simple Pleasures


17. Innovational Conquests 


18. Celebrity Sightings