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19th Sep 2016

17 drinks you got pissed on as a teenager but probably haven’t touched in ages

You definitely had a few too many of one of these back in the day.

Alex Finnis

1. WKD Blue

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Photo: flickr

You know a drink is healthy and nutritious when it’s basically fluorescent and its flavour is described as “blue”. What does that even mean? Since when has blue been a flavour? And why has no one questioned this more? Either way, we loved this shit as teenagers, mostly because we didn’t actually like the taste of actual alcohol yet but it still managed to get us pissed.

 

2. Strongbow

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Photo: Twitter: @VrtlMrtl

Nothing brings back memories of being a teenager better than putting away a four-pack of warm Strongbow while sitting on a broken park swing in the drizzle. What great days those were.

 

3. Vodkat

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Photo: Twitter: @Spikeopath

The first time you bought this you probably thought you’d managed to get your hands on some really cheap vodka, but then you realised it was only 20% and tasted a bit like paint. Still drank it, though.

 

4. Lambrini

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Photo: wineforspicewarrenedwardes.blogspot.com

Lambrini’s what we drank when we were trying to be classy, which is pretty ironic given it costs about three quid a bottle.

 

5. White Lightning

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Photo: justintimepr.com

The branding makes it look like it should be able to power a small car. It tastes like it might be able to too.

 

6. Apple Sourz

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Photo: Twitter: @petitebrunex

There’s a good chance Apple Sourz was your first ever experience of doing a shot, which means you might’ve got a bit of a shock when you did your first actual shot and realised that they don’t all taste like childhood pick’n’mix (and also have about three times more booze in them).

 

7. Boddingtons

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Photo: Twitter: @s_pangpang

Boddingtons – the only booze that was ever left over at the end of a house party (because it tasted way too bitter for kids who secretly would much prefer to have a glass of coke). I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen anyone drink a Boddingtons after the age of about 16, probably because they know better.

 

8. Smirnoff Ice

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Photo: deviantart.com

“Lemonade that gets you drunk” is basically everything you could possibly ask for as an underage drinker.

 

9. Glen’s Vodka

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Photo: Twitter: @escprediction

Horrendously cheap for actual vodka, you probably kept drinking Glen’s up until your uni days (as long as you had a strong enough mixer to mask the taste). When you were a teenager you probably swigged it straight from the bottle while standing in a cold field, before throwing up on your mate’s shoes and getting picked up by your mum at 11.30.

 

10. Frosty Jack’s

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Photo: Twitter: @david_a_pearson

A three-litre bottle of 7% cider, what could possibly go wrong? Clue: everything.

 

11. Cactus Jack’s

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Photo: Twitter: @Kyra_Jade17

Frosty’s brother from another mother, Cactus Jack’s was the cheaper and more varied version of Sourz (it came in pretty much every flavour under the sun). When you’re 16, there’s not a lot better than drinking booze that tasted of sweets.

 

12. VK

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Photo: Twitter: @millieglean

VK is alcohol’s answer to J2O (AKA the drink you had down the pub when you were out with your parents and they wouldn’t let you have another Coke). They also taste so little of alcohol that you can drain about three of them in 10 minutes.

 

14. Carling

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Photo: Twitter: @RookeryMike

Carling was the lager of choice for many teenagers for one reason and one reason only: it was the cheapest.

 

15. Bacardi Breezer

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Photo: Twitter: @CYn_yh12

Loads of flavours and a badass bat logo – Bacardi Breezers were definitely the coolest of the alcopops – and yet they definitely weren’t around as much as WKD or Smirnoff Ice.

 

16.Caribbean Twist

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Photo: Pinterest

This was probably your first foray into “cocktails” as a teenager. The girls in your year absolutely loved this stuff (and so did you, even if you tried to be macho and struggled through a four-pack of lager you didn’t actually like the taste of instead).

 

17. K Cider

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Photo: Twitter: @nunn003

This shit was absolutely lethal – there’s no way we should have been allowed it as teenagers.

 

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