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10th July 2024
09:53am BST
A husband and father has asked people online whether or not he is an 'a**hole' for losing it with his wife after she locked their son out of their house overnight because he drank alcohol.
The Dad, who goes by the username @Dadthrowaway788 on Reddit, posted his predicament in the popular 'Am I The A**hole' community.
He wrote: "I (m39) have a 16 year old son with my wife (f40). This incident happened a few days ago and she's still mad at me.
"I was on a work trip so my wife was at home with our son. When I got back, I found out that he had been hanging out with his friends and they convinced him to drink some beer and he got a little drunk. I'm not saying what he did was right, but him and I had a talk about it and it's fine.
"The problem is that when he came home and my wife found out she was furious and kicked him out and refused to let him back in until the morning," he continued. "He was begging her to let him in but she wouldn't.
"When I found out I was furious. Regardless of what he did, she made a slightly drunk teenager stay outside by himself at night. Something very bad could have happened to him.
"We had a huge argument over it. I asked her how the hell she thought that was ok. She just kept saying that it's our son's fault for drinking alcohol.
"My wife isn't really talking to me now and my son isn't talking to his mom. I feel like I'm in the right, but maybe I'm not. AITA?"
The post got almost 32,000 views and nearly 6,000 comments.
The top comment claimed that the poster wasn't the 'a**hole' in the situation, but cited a very extreme and dark real-life story to support her claim.
"Leslie Mahaffy, a victim of serial killers Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka, was locked out of her house by her parents the night they kidnapped her," they wrote. "They took turns making videos of them raping and torturing her for days before they killed her. Have your wife research that case and I bet she never locks him out again."
Another posted: "NTA, I get that she’s trying to teach your son that actions have consequences but the much more important lesson to teach here is- 'when I screw up I can always go home. Mom and Dad might be mad, but I know I will be safe with them and we can talk it out.'
"Punish him for drinking underage, but that’s being grounded or having your driving privileges taken away. This is an important moment in the parent/child relationship, you want to be home base not the police here. Just to be clear- I am not in any way saying DONT punish him.
"He did something wrong. But coming home drunk your first time drinking is not the time to be berated and kept outside, it’s the time to hear: 'Sleep it off we’ll be discussing this in the morning'
"Signed, the son of parents who immediately punished and did things like your wife did, so now we have a very superficial relationship (they get next to no news/info because I’m still nervous it will somehow be used against me) and I don’t seek them out whenever something happens to me."
One other person added: "NTA. No matter if he was a little drunk or very drunk, he’s a vulnerable minor and I would not leave him outside. There are a lot of other ways of setting high expectations and disciplining a kid. Child neglect isn’t one of them.
"You two need to talk and get on the same page as far as discipline goes so you have a set of consequences and rules you are both comfortable with."
After scrolling through the better part of 5k comments, it wasn't possible to spot a 'You're the a**hole' amongst the sea of 'NTA'.
This is one of the few occasions in the 'AITA' community where the answers were overwhelmingly and emphatically one-sided and in the poster's favour.
