‘If we don’t talk to our children about sex, they will just find answers elsewhere’
A mum has said she would buy her 13-year-old daughter a vibrator if she asked for one – and advised other parents to do the same.
Sex positivity coach Emily Roach, 28, wants parents “to speak openly and honestly about sex to their children”.
The mum-of-three, from Ottawa, Canada said lots of children start accessing porn at the age of 11, and parents should start teaching their children about “realistic sex” so their views “aren’t solely based on porn”.
Emily has a TikTok account where she provides advice and resources about sex positivity.
She recently posted a video responding to a fellow mum who asked what she should do after her 13-year-old daughter asked for a vibrator.
The first thing she said was that the mum should give herself a “pat on the back” for having a strong enough relationship with her daughter that she feels comfortable enough asking for a sex toy.
She went on to say that if she were in the same scenario, she would buy her daughter the toy and speak to her openly about how to use sex toys safely and hygienically.
@therealemilyroach #answer to @user2122586376581 #parentsoftiktok #parenting #momsoftiktok #dadsoftiktok #sexpositivityy #sexpositi #sexeducationn #sexpositiveparenting #seggspositiveparent #corn #corntok #? ♬ original sound – Emily
Emily said: “We should approach sex in a more positive way – self-pleasure is extremely normal and healthy.
“If my 13-year-old daughter came to me and asked me to buy her vibrator I would be happy they trusted me enough to ask the question, and I would buy her one.
“We should have open conversations about such taboo subjects.
“If we don’t talk to our children about sex, they will just find answers elsewhere.
“I want to help parents unlearn sex negativity – a feeling of shame and stigma related to having pleasurable sex.”
Emily says she also wants to help “bridge the gender pleasure gap” and help women enjoy sex and not feel shame.
She added: “If my children ask me a question, I don’t lie about it.
“If they asked me what sex was, I would respond ‘it is something grown-ups do together when they are trying to feel good or make babies’.”
The sex positivity coach says that too many children have unprotected access to the internet at too early an age, and that this is giving them an inaccurate representation of sex.
She went on to advise teaching children about “more ethical resources” such as artsy adult films or audio resources to help explain things.
@therealemilyroach Replying to @smackwhackattack Funny how, when it’s a curriculum conversation, these are conversations that should happen in the home. BUT when we have them in the home, we shouldn’t want the open relationship. #sexeducationn #sexpositivityy #momsoftiktok #dadsoftiktok #parenting ♬ original sound – fishwad
Emily claimed there is a lot to unlearn for women who have grown up in environments where sex was a taboo subject.
“The biggest thing I had to unlearn was wanting to experience pleasure during sex – it wasn’t superficial or silly,” she added.
“Until I met my husband, Rodney, when I was 19, I used to fake it – he questioned why I was doing it which allowed me to openly explore my pleasure.
“It helps to be intimate with a partner when you know yourself.
“We need to remove shame and stigma and normalise pleasure-based sex.”
Related links:
- Teacher sacked after filming sex act in classroom for OnlyFans video
- Couple with 22-inch height difference asked if there are any issues in the bedroom
- ‘I tried a sex toy Advent calendar and it ruined my sex life’
