Here’s 17 of the most hilarious tweets from the month of May…
1)
https://twitter.com/hippy_jon/status/734058117613420544
2)
i hate when old people say tattoos are a waste of money like debra you have a cabinet dedicated to expensive plates nobody is allowed to use
— april ham linkedin (@memeindex) May 1, 2016
3)
Summer got attacked by a duck today & the pictures our neighbor got of it happening make me laugh so hard pic.twitter.com/GEJuGwPy24
— stevie (@steviegidden) May 2, 2016
4)
https://twitter.com/mattwhitlockPM/status/729202927672434688
5)
He doesn’t know what goes on in jails, does he…? pic.twitter.com/ztm68yZ4sM
— News Thing (@NewsThing) May 24, 2016
6)
Manager: Your fired
Me: *You're
Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud
Me: How did you know I corrected you— pat tobin (@tastefactory) May 13, 2016
7)
me: do you ever get sad because some dogs probably need glasses but we'll never know because THEY CANT SAY
bank teller: sir this is a bank
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) May 16, 2016
8)
"Australia is a big part of Europe and should definitely be in the Eurovision Song Contest." pic.twitter.com/HJG6LnbYUw
— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) May 14, 2016
9)
Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word
Me: Hired
Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??
— Niles (@River_Niles) May 16, 2016
10)
https://twitter.com/mikealfredcaine/status/732615533820928000
11)
If embryos are people, ultrasounds are child pornography
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 17, 2016
12)
funniest thing i've ever said irl is 'what kind of clown do they have running this place?' after getting a wrong order at mc donalds
— Patrick (@PrayForPatrick) May 20, 2016
13)
Interviewer: says here you have a military background
Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 20, 2016
14)
https://twitter.com/bea_ker/status/733893201321295872
15)
I'm about to CUM
C. coming o
U. ut of
M. my cage and I've been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all it started out wi— Dell (@hellldelll) May 24, 2016
16)
The way I stroke back the leaves on a strawberry before eating it is fucking perverted.
— Anders Holm (@ders808) May 29, 2016
17)
https://twitter.com/vvexedd/status/736905079261908992
