These are solid gold.
It’s been another strong month on Twitter, so I’d like to offer a hearty well done to all involved.
Topics discussed in April include John Krasinski’s unexpected banger of a movie ‘The Quiet Place’, what a map of the world sounds like on the piano, some exceptional cat names on offer from King Bob Mortimer, Counting Crows’ blatant shortcomings and a potential new name for Asda and Sainsbury’s merger.
Here’s 25 hilarious tweets that deserve your immediate attention.
1.
Just a reminder that if you aren’t the ladies from Sex And The City there’s absolutely no reason to be walking in a row of four along a footpath
— Peter Taggart (@petertaggart) April 1, 2018
2.
Little known fact about the Pope: he's an excellent skateboarder pic.twitter.com/FgdY5mRUt1
— Big Field (@BBCBigField) April 2, 2018
3.
What a name! pic.twitter.com/17EHgdzWaf
— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) April 3, 2018
4.
Just saw The Quiet Place with a theater full of people who would not survive The Quiet Place.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) April 8, 2018
5.
Cos I'm a creep… pic.twitter.com/Qq6tCW3eFR
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) April 3, 2018
6.
The Queen: Philip… I'm stuck on today's crossword. Do you know which football team Sir Alex Ferguson managed?
Prince Philip: Man United?
The Queen: Yes, the man I knighted.
— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) April 11, 2018
7.
Girlfriend: this is my dad, Howard
Me: Hey man… *we lock eyes* Howard you doing
Howard: *maintaining eye contact* Sarah this is the one
— cory (@_coryrichardson) April 13, 2018
8.
"Every time. Every single time" pic.twitter.com/CCOuMq7XoA
— Paul Bronks (@BoringEnormous) April 15, 2018
9.
I’d start by asking the photographer. pic.twitter.com/WiGzD2OM3j
— esthero'mooredonohoe (@estheromd) April 18, 2018
10.
this is what the world map sounds like on the piano? pic.twitter.com/eyonAOz3D9
— kara☀︎ (@karaweeks_) April 17, 2018
11.
Oh My Fuckin God, I am dying.
Surely this guy has one Scottish friend who should have told him? pic.twitter.com/9A9wO8kynF— iRoy, still spreading SHYTE (@Roy_Isserlis) April 19, 2018
12.
me: hey baby
gf: hey 😉 go to ——> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it’s free
me: yeah i has a rough day at work
gf: hey 😉 go to ——> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it’s free
me: haha thanks u always make me feel better
gf: hey 😉 go to ——> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it’s free
me: love u too— i cant drive 2007 (@prophethusband) April 19, 2018
13.
*while scrolling Facebook
I’m so glad Congress is going to make Facebook protect my data!
*clicks on “What Harry Potter character is your social security number?”
— The Cre Master (@Jmboyd58) April 11, 2018
14.
Remember when a bunk bed with a desk underneath was the height of your aspirations
— Ellen (with club sauce) (@incogellen) April 23, 2018
15.
Bless me father for I have sinned, I keep singing the bare naked ladies.
Priest: how long has it been since your last confession
Me: it's been…— Sarah Jones (@SarahJonesVent) April 17, 2018
16.
y’all thought january took forever and wanted it to speed up now look at us. did february and march even happen. april almost over. then it’s gonna be 2019. then we gon die.
— nathan zed (@NathanZed) April 24, 2018
17.
Y’all I was really out here looking for a new eyeliner and look at this review lmfaooo
She deadass took a picture in her neck brace I am deceased ? pic.twitter.com/j9jHjAei06— lahari (@guadalahari) April 24, 2018
18.
this poster makes no sense; just look at how fucking cool that chicken is pic.twitter.com/mJb3epYDka
— pullovergirl (@pullovergirl) April 25, 2018
19.
CAT NAME SPRING CLEAR OUT:
Ronnie omelettes
Gary from admin
Lidl Wayne
Aldi Best
Cedric latenights
Broccoli Highkicks
Sirius Cockhopper
Bubbles McParty
Mr Several Businesses£8.00 p.a.
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) April 26, 2018
20.
mom said you had to let me use the xbox pic.twitter.com/jwBf2AEf1Q
— dallas (@mixedhunty) April 1, 2018
21.
when someone enters the Google Doc with me pic.twitter.com/LOIklhrzKg
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) April 27, 2018
22.
Did Counting Crows ever give us a total number of crows
— donni saphire (@donni) April 28, 2018
23.
I’m begging Dude, please don’t take my man. pic.twitter.com/vlZf4AtCW4
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) April 27, 2018
24.
This how Donald trump gonna be wearing his yeezy’s pic.twitter.com/IaOT6kLh77
— if cavs lose today ima die (@imgonnatakeanap) April 27, 2018
25.
Sainsbury’s and Asda are merging you say? pic.twitter.com/0LdcczAQaE
— Scott Wiles (@Scott_W88) April 28, 2018