"I don’t know how many months I have left."
Sarah Harding has revealed she does not expect to live until next Christmas, after her cancer spread to her spine and is now likely terminal.
The Girls Aloud singer was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer of 2020 and has since undergone chemotherapy and a mastectomy.
In an excerpt of her new book,
Hear Me Out, published in the
Times, she wrote openly about her experience.
"In December my doctor told me that the upcoming Christmas would probably be my last," she
wrote.
"I’m at a stage now where I don’t know how many months I have left."
The 39-year-old is considering treatment options for the tumour at the base of her spine, which might have spread to her brain. But she is ruling out radiotherapy, as it would mean losing her hair. And while some may level accusations of vanity at her for such a decision, with just months left, she does not feel losing her hair to be worth it.
"This tumour is the thing that scares me more than anything because I think it will be the thing that affects me the most," she explained.
"I don’t know what it’s going to do, but it’s there. There’s an option for radiotherapy on my skull but I don’t want to go through that and lose my hair at this stage, especially with no guarantees at the end of it.
"It might seem vain thinking about my hair, but my thinking was that if there’s a chance I’ve only got six months, then I’ve got six months. Losing my hair probably wasn’t going to change that, so if there’s another way to manage the disease or treat it, then let’s do that."
Reluctant to wallow in misery for her remaining few months, the Celebrity Big Brother winner is keen to make the most of her life.
"I’m trying to live and enjoy every second of my life, however long it might be," she explains.
"I am having a glass of wine or two during all this, because it helps me relax. I’m sure some people might think that’s not a great idea, but I want to try to enjoy myself. I’m at a stage now where I don’t know how many months I have left. Who knows, maybe I’ll surprise everyone, but that’s how I’m looking at things."
