Is your chair also a scorpion? No? Then get the hell off my page, loser!
If you would like to halt your loserdom, perhaps you'd consider investing in the
'Cluvens scorpion computer chair cockpit IW-SK recliner Esport Gaming chair PC chair with gaming desk support 3 monitors'. Or, in simpler terms: maybe you'd like to buy a robotic scorpion gaming chair.
Yes, this is an actual product you can buy, if you're based in North America. The robotic scorpion chair is just like a normal chair, except it has a mechanical tail which hangs over the user's head and can display up to three monitors.
The chair reclines, has massage and heat functions, and has a workstation that closes around the user to form a kind of cockpit. The chair is currently available on Chinese shopping giant Alibaba for $1,999 (roughly £1,550).
https://twitter.com/PharaohOW/status/1304303819271155713
"This is our new model of the year 2020," manufacturer Cluvens says in the product description.
"With shape of Scorpion King and super comfortable fully electrical recline up to 170 degree chair at electrical controller with one touch, it can support 1 monitor of ultra wide 49" or 3 curved monitors of 27" each, with prebuilt HDMI/DP cables for easier connect to monitors and computer.
"The big keyboard is manual open/close, and both armrest with good soft cushion, can be rotary open/close for quicker exit/into the cockpit. Easy installation with two men at 1-2 hours only!"
So next time you're sitting down, have a think about whether your seating arrangement is as truly epic as it could be. When you pull your Ikea chair up to your Ikea desk, consider whether your life would actually be better if it was made of jet black steel and covered in all kinds of pointy bits.
We're not saying that this chair holds all of the answers to life's problems, but life's problems would be a lot easier to ignore if you were sitting in a robot scorpion chair.
