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Fitness & Health

06th Jul 2021

UK is the Gonnorhoea capital of Europe, according to new study

Kieran Galpin

Lambeth needs some sex education!

England is known for many things. From the Queen to rap music, Piers Morgan’s rants, to the undeniable hypocrisy of the Conservative party, England is home to some truly amazing cultural moments. But a sullen evil has crossed over, and no, I am not talking about Priti Patel, but instead Gonnorhoea.

A study done by Supplement Place has revealed that England is the Gonnorhoea capital of Europe. Breaking each set of statistics down by region, The STI Index has spotlighted the areas most prevalent in sexually transmitted diseases. Let’s break it down:

Greater London the home base for Gonnorhoea in the UK, with Lambeth having 1,112.2 gonorrhoea diagnoses per 100,000 people. Other areas that make the top ten include Southwark, City of London, Hackney, Tower Hamlets, Westminster, Islington, Hammersmith and Fulham, Kensington and Chelsea, and Wandsworth.

By region, London is obviously the most plagued, but the West Midlands comes in at second. For comparison, the West Midlands has 188 cases per 100,000 people.

In terms of Europe as a whole, the UK dominates the charts with 93.2 cases per 100,000 people. Ireland comes in at second, with 49.8 cases per 100k. The rest of the rankings include Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Sweden, Malta, Spain, Czech Republic, and Hungary. So if you are scouting for holidays post-covid, then Hungary could be a decent option! However, I would avoid going there if you are gay.

One thing is for certain, all those lessons about putting condoms on bananas never sank in. But to make things easier for all you filthy people out there, Lambeth, I am looking at you; here is a nifty video to help educate you. But please don’t flatter yourselves in the comments; we know it’s not the size of a cucumber.