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6th August 2015
06:11pm BST

Dear Uncle Matt,
I don't feel as though I'm in a solid relationship with my girlfriend. She only does what her grandmom says she's allowed to, her grandmom treats her like a kid and she's 32-years-old, (I'm 27).
She can't come out late because her grandmom says so and her family aren't too thrilled that she's dating a black guy. But at the same time, she is such a sweet lady and very kind-hearted, so I can't leave her. I tried before and almost broke her heart. I couldn't do that to her. I mean it's like she's not even her own woman. What should I do?
Drac Daddy V, USA
Drac? What kind of f***ing name is... No matter. You American Drac? I'm guessing you are with all this Grandmom jazz.
Anyway, sounds to me like you've got to drag her out of the past and to some place where her grandmommy can't control her. She's 32? It's not like you're absconding with a teenager Drac. Do it. And be a man about it.
Forget the business about them not being thrilled their baby is dating a black man thing as that is not your problem. It's grandmamas.
If there is any resistance from her family, which there will be, you should hold your head high and tell Grandmama that she can 'kiss yo ass' (or 'black ass' if you prefer? I can't tell you to say that obviously). If you love this women then set her free, and don't look back...Drac.
Dear Uncle Matt,
My mate has asked me to go fox-hunting with his family for his birthday. I was tempted because I've never done it before but after the furore around Cecil, I'm rethinking it. I know it's ridiculous to compare the two but it has put me off. Would you go if you were me, or if you've been, what did you think?
J White
It's not ridiculous to compare the two at all. Cruelty is cruelty, no matter how big or pretty the animal is.
If you go, then you're a c*nt. I've said it. Plain speaking, to fit a question with a plain and simple answer. If you've been invited then you really have no place being there at this hunt.
You'll stick out like a spare d*ck and won't have a clue what to do when they all start to 'tally ho' and dribble warm cherry over themselves.
I've never been to one of these things, but I've seen enough evidence to know what goes on. It's a dying folly enjoyed by the too-much-time-on-their-hands set, who could easily spend that morning fixing something, or being kind to someone.
Think of that J White when you contemplate whether to attend or not. It's also no coincidence either that hunt rhymes perfectly with c*nt, please consider this also, but not as much as the previous point.

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