"These are small. But the ones out there are far away."
"I have an awful dreary monotonous voice, God help me..."
"So Ted, I hear you're a racist now."
"Oh great - mass! Father Alton Crosbyis doing it. I'm a huge fan of his. He gives good mass."
"I forgot the records, Ted."
"Yes, I'm so gorgeous they want to put me under arrest."
“We were just talking about that fella Kurt Cobain. He was from America. Imagine blowing your head off with a shotgun. How’d he manage to survive that?”
"Well, I never... I've never... Tony... I'm putting you on my list of enemies."
"A Volkswagen with a mind of its own. If that isn’t scary, I don’t know what is."
"One day, you and I, we're gonna be in that new parish of yours, sipping iced-tea on the lawn. This will all be just a memory. Can you hold on to that thought?"
"Clint Eastwood has been arrested for a crime he didn't... Oh wait, no it's a film."
"That would be an ecumenical matter."
"Pat was wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box."
