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27th Dec 2016

Tollesbury man predicts future by scoring Mkhitaryan backheel volley on PES a whole MONTH before reality

What witchcraft is this?

Nooruddean Choudry

What witchcraft is this?

Henrikh Mkhitaryan’s sensational Boxing Day goal against Sunderland was as audacious as it was skilful. Not only is it a strong contender for goal of the season for its technical prowess and stunning execution, but it is wonderfully unique.

No one could have predicted that the Armenian would finish the move with a ‘scorpian’ backheel volley of such aplomb – even the player himself couldn’t have known that he’d score a goal of such unusual skill. It was a one-off and impossible either to train or defend.

Although, remarkably, a gamer from Tollesbury village in Essex managed to predate the effort by a whole month in a freakishly similar Pro Evo goal in November. That’s right – a combination of man and machine somehow conspired to predict the future.

‘Benglorious’ is something of legend in gaming circles for his prowess on vehicular football video game, Rocket League… 

But it was his turn on Pro Evolution Soccer 2017 that led to the wonder goal premonition. Back in November, Benglorious scored this goal, which entails a deep diagonal ball from a Manchester United forward being converted by Mkhitaryan with a mid-air diving backheel volley. As you do…

Such was the ridiculous and unrealistic nature of the effort that the Tollesbury native – whose real name may or may not be ‘Ben Crosby’ – commented glibly: “Exactly like every goal he’s ever scored for United…” Little did he know.

When asked by JOE to comment on his Nostradamus skills, the expert gamer simply replied: “Live and let live, brothers. We’re all in this together.” Indeed we are, you enigmatic wizard.