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29th Dec 2016

The most pointless Premier League table of all time has just been produced

It's the league table that nobody called for


So many clocks, yet nobody’s ever happy with the time.

Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, they say. Or at least twice a game.

Or so you would think, but despite there being many, many clocks present at every match nobody appears to ever be that happy with the timekeeping.

And now, thanks to perhaps the most pointless Premier League table of all time, we can rest assured that any disagreements over time added on at the end of 90 minutes are not due to Premier League manager’s skimping on their timepieces.

Because, for reasons nobody is quite sure, the Daily Mail have produced a league table charting every Premier League manager based on how expensive their watch is.

That’s right, their watch.

And good news for Burnley fans, you may well end up embroiled in a relegation battle in 2017, but you can sleep easy at night safe in the knowledge that Sean Dyche has the most expensive watch in the Premier League.

He forked out 45 grand for a Patek Philippe 5990/1A. The Mail tell us that he’s “in good company” here as “Queen Victoria and Prince Albert purchased models from the Swiss watch manufacturer at the Great Exhibition in 1851.” Recommendations don’t come much higher than that.

Unsurprisingly, Jose Mourinho doesn’t fuck around with his choice of timepiece – a £25,000 Hublot Big Bang – while company man Pep Guardiola wears a watch emblazoned with the Manchester City logo.

But if you think this is all nonsense you’d be right then think again because if you were looking for reasons why Bob Bradley couldn’t hack it in the Premier League then the answer probably lies in the hunk of junk he had on his arm for which he paid just 40 quid.

Coach Bob clearly failed to realise that he was now in the big time

The full table is here for anyone who is interested in that sort of thing.