The 20 stages of English hype before every single major tournament

England are going to win the Euros. This time, it's definitely different.

The impressive 3-2 win over Germany in Berlin last weekend was a timely refuel of the country's hopes after several years of Roy Hodgson's sterling efforts to crush any modicum of excitement around the team. Just when there seemed to be a suspicion of self-awareness and common sense about the team, a victory over the world champions saw England's humility dissipate quicker than Michael Johnson's career. https://twitter.com/JOE_co_uk/status/713843049831481344 Then, within the space of days, the defeat to the Netherlands brought us all crashing back down to earth with an almighty thump. Even if we rally ourselves in time for the summer, we know that Hodgson's men won't win. But that won't stop us from repeating the vicious circle that's been spiralling for over half a century now. England teams can't escape hype. And here are the stages that gets rattled through on a biennial basis.

1. England have a bad tournament.

https://twitter.com/heyitskaatt/status/481516090829602817

2A. England need an English manager - with passion.

https://twitter.com/chrisormie/status/196679495632162816 https://twitter.com/Sweeney_96/status/594757765513519104

2B. Or, England need a foreign manager - who has something to do with technical football.

https://twitter.com/stanleyjnr_/status/401469635272667136 https://twitter.com/BrolinMZ/status/507273257939386368

3. But England don't have the technical quality.

https://twitter.com/Jdmillo69/status/481493885584420866

4. So England need a grass roots investigation.

https://twitter.com/gmans1/status/17801147058

5. But they also need a scapegoat.

6. Then it's time to focus on mentality.

https://twitter.com/SimonBrundish/status/513378565380145152

7. And turn on the 'golden generation'.

https://twitter.com/__Locky/status/256828086635601921

8. So England need to look to the future.

9. Before you now it, we realise the future is already sorted.

https://twitter.com/Tony8Cee/status/643010669483311104

10. And an uncapped England player bolts from nowhere.

https://twitter.com/MrSameer_/status/268791748103397376

11. England walk through their group (consitisting of Switzerland, Slovenia, Estonia, Lithuania, and San Marino).

https://twitter.com/ashduffy7/status/640552318954545152

12. Then England win a big-time friendly.

13. Something about the technical football that England now boast.

https://twitter.com/risingstar_brad/status/569536424669638656 https://twitter.com/AndyComyn/status/713845849059622912

14. Not that anyone's getting carried away.

https://twitter.com/james_campo/status/713844171694608384 https://twitter.com/act133/status/713843841841958912 https://twitter.com/Chargersgsy/status/713843773231534081 https://twitter.com/markjamess13/status/714047964356984832 https://twitter.com/AdsBrown/status/713846952883068929

15. F**k it, England can win the whole thing.

https://twitter.com/RoryKerrNixon/status/714781804352434176 https://twitter.com/JoelLangham/status/713839395497971713

16. But then England lose a friendly.

https://twitter.com/prodnose/status/714919037323579396 https://twitter.com/prodnose/status/714924081787703296

17. The hype around England has already embedded in though.

https://twitter.com/kentishtowncats/status/714926148094922753

18. England have a bad tournament.

https://twitter.com/alex_lovelock10/status/480052158931668992

19. Something about technical football.

https://twitter.com/GreenSamPAFC/status/480051104605274112

20A. England need an English manager.

https://twitter.com/Jo_RW_lambert/status/167371013259137025

20B. Or... England need a foreign manager.

https://twitter.com/sidkidwai/status/441324874695720960 https://twitter.com/ANKSBAY/status/714910637030252544

Repeat, ad infinitum.