And yes, before anyone says anything, *of course* this is a serious report.
With the football season now over - even the bit at the end where we have to pretend to be interested in internationals - it's now absolutely fine to fully immerse ourselves in a couple of months of full-blown transfer muppetry.
You know the sort of thing we're on about. Incessantly scrolling through social media feeds looking for clues as to where certain players will be plying their trade by the end of summer; interpreting something a footballer's girlfriend likes on Instagram as being a hint as to where they'd prefer to end up... that sort of bollocks.
Getting firmly into the spirit of things, here is an update on the immensely talented Monaco forward Kylian Mbappe... or more specifically, his new hair do.
Just weeks away from disappointing Arsenal fans with his completely inevitable move to Real Madrid, some supporters of the North London club are daring to dream that Mbappe might be tempted to The Emirates this summer by Arsene Wenger.
After exciting Gooners by partnering Olivier Giroud on international duty the other night, Mbappe has now kicked off his summer hols by dying his hair blond. Here, look...
https://twitter.com/KMbappe/status/875023395649331201
Now, ignoring the bit before where we said his move to Real Madrid was inevitable, let's allow ourselves to read far too deeply in to this. Okay? Good.
This is - quite clearly as far as we're concerned - a sign of his admiration for Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey, who famously dyed his hair blond ahead of last summer's European Championships.
And no, we're not the only ones making this connection.
https://twitter.com/GunnerFaithful/status/875055555664064512
https://twitter.com/jarred1886/status/875207637540851712
https://twitter.com/KdotAfc/status/875062780222726144
'Dun deal' indeed. The medical's probably being set up as you read this.
It's happening, fellas.
