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29th Jun 2017

JOE’s Transfer Digest – Wenger considering selling Sanchez just to see Arsenal Fan TV reaction

Arsene Wenger admitted that he's already laughing at the thought of Arsenal Fan TV's reaction

Wayne Farry

Welcome to JOE’s Transfer Digest, a place for the brightest and best rumours of the day to congregate and enjoy their last days of freedom before the transfer window opens.

Transfer business continues to slowly intensify in the days leading up to the window, so sit back and fasten yourself in for a bumpy ride.

Wenger kinda curious to see what happens

Arsene Wenger has admitted for the first time today that star forward Alexis Sanchez could be sold to Premier League rivals Manchester City in a big money deal.

While he would rather keep the player at Arsenal, Wenger revealed that he has a morbid curiosity to see exactly how Arsenal Fan TV would react to the move, one which he is struggling to ignore.

“Alexis is a wonderful player, certainly. He has been a huge success for us and we would struggle without him. But sitting here – imagining the anger on the faces of Ty, Claude and Heavy D – I can’t but wonder how funny it would be,” said the Frenchman this morning. “It would send them into overdrive, to be honest I’m already laughing at the prospect of it.”

United unconvinced by Fabinho’s commercial ability

Further North, Manchester United have reportedly turned their attentions away AS Monaco player Fabinho due to Ed Woodward’s belief that the Brazilian lacks the necessary commercial quality needed by the club.

The versatile midfielder and wing-back had long been linked with a move to Old Trafford – going so far as to speak glowingly about the club – but the club’s executive vice-chairman has been put off by the player’s scarcity of hair and “toothy smile”.

“We’ve been looking at Fabinho for quite a long time. He ticks a number of boxes for us, but when it comes down to the important factors he is simply lacking. His smile is sorta weird and his hair is receding, so we’re really not sure if we could find a place for him in our ads, which would be a disaster,” said Woodward. “As a brand – sorry, club – we have to do what’s best for us and unfortunately Fabinho simply doesn’t fit the bill compared to the likes of Pogba and Lindelof.”

Into the wild

In other news from Old Trafford, manager Jose Mourinho is said to be looking to bring an end to Wayne Rooney’s transfer saga by simply driving the captain out to the wilderness and leaving him on the side of the road.

The Portuguese coach is believed to have grown tired of attempts to offload the club’s all-time top scorer, and believes a new setting – be it in the forest or otherwise – will benefit everyone.

“Jose loves Wayne; they’ve got a great working relationship. But the transfer window is almost here and we need to focus on our targets, not players who won’t get game time,” said a club source today. “Jose is confident that Wayne will be fine in the wild because he is a very smart and capable guy. We wish him all the best in his new and exciting adventure.”

And finally…

French sides Lyon and Marseille are reportedly fighting it out for the chance to sign Arsenal striker Olivier Giroud.

While no bids have been made, both clubs are said to be keen to make up for their squads’ lack of striker who play like a world beater for for six games every three months.