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17th Jul 2017

JOE’s Transfer Digest – Jurgen Klopp to buy new TV just to remind himself what a successful purchase feels like

Jurgen Klopp is said to simply want a purchase that he can call his own

Wayne Farry

Welcome to JOE’s Transfer Digest, our very own incubator for fresh transfer rumours to grow and flourish into fully fledged deals.

The majority of Premier League club are away on pre-season duty currently, but that hasn’t stopped them from serving up fresh speculation for each of us.

Klopp to purchase new television

After a summer of near misses and just one completed transfer thus far, Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp is, according to sources at the club, growing increasingly desperate with regards to his team’s list of targets.

Having seen attempts to purchase Virgil van Dijk and Naby Keita unravel into full-blown sagas, the German is now said to be on the verge of buying a new TV, in a bid to remind himself what a successful purchase feels like.

“Jurgen has grown weary of the transfer market. It was rather easy with our purchase of Salah, but it’s been very complicated since then. Every time he thinks we’re about to sign someone, something goes wrong. He just wants to have a straightforward transaction he can call his own, and one where the price doesn’t automatically get hiked to £70 million,” said the club official.

“Hopefully this will give him his confidence back, and remind him that he can complete a purchase, even if it just a television. Then, maybe, we can buy some players again.”

At press time, Klopp had reportedly spent close to seven hours in a department store, after being convinced he saw Antonio Conte, Jose Mourinho and Borussia Dortmund manager Peter Bosz lurking nearby.

Remy reminded he plays for Chelsea

At Stamford Bridge, Loic Remy has revealed he will leave Chelsea this summer, and simultaneously reminded himself that he is still at the club.

The Frenchman, who arrived at the club from QPR, was said to be feeling a mix of relief and shock after being told he can leave the club.

“I am relieved because this means that hopefully I can get some game time elsewhere. But equally, I am sort of shocked because honestly I had forgotten I was even at this club anymore. I don’t know where I thought I was but it sure as hell wasn’t here,” said the 30-year-old.

Conte considering just killing Costa at this stage

With the Spanish striker’s protracted departure taking longer and longer to be completed, Chelsea manager Antonio Conte is said to be weighing up whether it may be more expedient to simply dispose of Diego Costa rather than sell him, according to club sources.

The Italian coach has grown angry at the public and brazen nature Costa’s expected departure to Atletico Madrid, and will decide this week on whether to just kill him.

“Antonio is a proud man, and this saga has annoyed him. He would prefer to sell Costa but frankly, he just wants him out of his life one way or another. Obviously, mano-o-mano is out of the question – Conte would be destroyed – but he is a clever man who has his ways and means,” said the source.