Xherdan Shaqiri withdraws from Switzerland squad with ‘pubic inflammation’

Well this is a new one

Xherdan Shaqiri, who hasn't made an appearance for Liverpool since coming on as a substitute during their 0-0 draw against Manchester United on February 24, has withdrawn from the Switzerland squad due to an 'inflammation of the pubic area'. Yikes. The Kosovan-born winger, who has 78 caps and 22 caps for his adopted country, will be sorely missed during their European Championship qualifiers against Georgia and Denmark. As he was named on the bench for Liverpool's 2-1 win away at Fulham on Sunday, albeit as an unused substitute, the announcement is also a fairly surprising one for his national team. And the less said about the implication of 'inflammation of the pubic area', the better. https://twitter.com/SFV_ASF/status/1107748510172999680 There is, of course, a fairly reasonable explanation for Shaqiri's withdrawal, with injury analyst Ben Dinnery believing that it could be osteitis pubis, which is a 'painful overuse injury that affects the pelvis and most commonly occurs during kicking activities'. Sounds completely reasonable, right? Well, try searching 'Shaqiri crabs' on Twitter and see whether the fans are buying it. Clue: they are not. Poor Xherdan. This kind of thing is inevitable when you're 5 foot 5 and have a physique like Johnny Bravo. The ladies can't resist. https://twitter.com/BenDinnery/status/1107949766175084544