Search icon

Sport

12th Jul 2017

Arsenal fan in shock after losing online poll for first time in life

Police say it is currently too early to tell whether he will ever make a full recovery

Wayne Farry

True horror is something that the lucky among us avoid throughout our lives. That feeling of utter desolation, out of the blue.

Today, however, one Arsenal fan realised he would not be so fortunate after he was left shocked and distraught upon losing an online poll for the very first time in his life.

Family members say that 23-year-old Drew Cropper – a lifetime Gunners supporter and veteran online poll participant – voted in the Twitter poll earlier this morning, choosing “Arsenal” when asked to predict a winner for the upcoming Premier League season.

Having previously come out on top in the 32,000 prior online football polls he had voted in, Cropper reportedly closed the tab containing Twitter shortly thereafter, unaware that tragedy was just hours away.

Unbeknownst to Cropper, his time away from the site saw the Twitter poll in question shared by multiple Chelsea fan accounts, eventually leading to the Blues coming out on top by a considerable margin.

Sources who saw encountered Cropper online throughout the day say that the young man was his normal sprightly self, calling people “nonces” and labelling every other club’s signings as “crap”.

“He’s just a boy, it’s not fair”

“He was his usual self,” said one Reddit acquaintance who had been chatting to Cropper at the very moment he discovered the poll results. “He was his usual, horrible self, and then he went quiet. I knew something terrible had happened.”

It was at this moment that family members revealed the man’s mother, who has known her son all of his life, heard a high-pitched scream and entered his room.

“It was horrible, just awful. He was sitting there with his eyes wide and his mouth open. It was like he had turned to stone. Then I saw a solitary tear fall down his cheek. He’s just a boy, it’s not fair,” she said while speaking to media this afternoon.

NHS statistics released earlier this year revealed that as many as 3 in 10 Arsenal fans will lost an online pol throughout their lives, with the number consistently rising.

“For a long time now Arsenal fans have assumed that they’ll win polls simply by taking part. Unfortunately those days are coming to and end, and many simply aren’t prepared. This is not yet an epidemic, but in time we fear it will be,” said an NHS spokesperson in March.

According to a statement by the emergency services, the man is currently being comforted by family and friends, but police say it is currently too early to tell whether he will ever make a full recovery.

Topics:

Satire