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13th Apr 2016

9 facts that only make sense in Louis Van Gaal’s weird and wonderful brain

It could only be LVG

Nooruddean Choudry

Louis van Gaal’s brain is a wondrous place.

Manchester United fans are certainly at a loss for what exactly is going on in there. It’s like a magical portal into opposite land, and we’re all invited via his bizarre selection of players in various ill-fitting formations.

We thought we’d delve a little further, and extract some truisms that only exist in the Dutchman’s ample noggin…

Forget Han Solo, Darth Vader, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker or even Yoda, the greatest character in the Star Wars canon is Jar Jar Binks. His well-meaning buffoonery speaks to all our truest selves.

The first ten seasons of The Simpsons were thoroughly underwhelming and unoriginal, and it wasn’t until 11 through to 27 that the animated series really found its voice. It’s still no The Cleveland Show.

Ringo Starr wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles – rather he was the best lead singer and songwriter, ahead of John, Paul and George. This is apparent in the 1969 ditty Octopus’s Garden.

Nothing complements a pair of boot-cut denim jeans worn with patent leather shoes quite like a pair of pristine white socks from Sports Direct. It really adds a touch of sophistication to an already classy look.

The Who’s 1965 rendition of ‘My Generation’ may have encapsulated the angst of being a teenager caught up in mod counterculture, but it pales in comparison to Hilary Duff’s far superior 2004 cover.

Banana and mayonnaise is the perfect combination for a sandwich filling; the likes of tuna and sweetcorn, and cheese and pickle simply don’t compliment each other as well as mushy fruit and egg-based spread.

The best movie of the Godfather trilogy is of course Part III, in which Al Pacino definitely doesn’t overact and become a parody of himself in what is not a sprawling mess of a film.

The next James Bond should indeed be a black man, but not Idris Elba. Only Dave Benson Phillips has the necessary blend of smouldering menace and roguish sex appeal for the job.

Ashley Young is a striker, Anthony Martial is a winger and Marouane Fellaini is a footballer.