The final international break of the calendar year comes to a head tonight as England take on Spain under the Wembley arch.
We’re not even going to bother pretending that it’s anything other than a meaningless friendly, but, seeing as you’ve bothered to click the link to this article, we reckon there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself watching the match later on.
With that in mind, here are 5 things that will almost certainly happen during tonight’s game…
No matter how many times it’s discussed, John Stones still won’t kick it long
John Stones, as we’re told time and time again, likes to play it out from the back. There’s as much chance of him hoofing the ball high into the supermoon-illuminated sky tonight as there is of Gareth Southgate leading England to World Cup glory in less than two year’s time.
Despite this, you can guarantee that at some stage during the coverage tonight, there will be some kind of reference to John Stones’ preferred playing style.
The exact same ‘should Gareth Southgate get the job on a permanent basis?’ debate you heard on Friday will rage once again
A 3-0 victory over Scotland has done nothing to shed any light on whether or not Gareth Southgate deserves the England job on a permanent basis. Although the result of tonight’s match means very little, we can all look forward to revisiting exactly the same pundit discussion that was had not even 100 hours earlier – probably by the exact same people.
This…
The amazement from the commentators that England aren't very good 10 mins into EVERY game never fails to amuse me.
— Macca (@The_Paris_Angel) November 11, 2016
Yep, disregarding the importance of the match and the calibre of the opposition, it still seems to come as a surprise to those commentating on the game when England look bang average.
Ignoring the fact that they’ve not won a trophy in over half a century and that they got knocked out of the Euros by a country with a population comparable to Wigan, there always seems to be a sense of expectancy at the start of each England game that the team will show the world that they’re actually really, really good.
Sadly, it doesn’t usually take long for realisation to set in.
England will be overrun by Spain’s Iniesta-less midfield
Carrying on from the last point, England’s mediocrity will almost certainly be highlighted by the ease with which the Spanish midfield will dictate the play. Gone are the days of Xavi and Xabi Alonso, while Andrés Iniesta is currently out with injury, but Spain have so much strength in this position that they could probably stick Enrique Iglesias there and he’d run the show.
Glenn Hoddle will trend on Twitter
Hot on the heels of describing Raheem Sterling’s miss from one-yard out against Scotland as ‘difficult’, Glenn Hoddle is back on co-commentary duties tonight.
While we should all remind ourselves that this is a man who knows more than most about international football, his presence next to Clive Tyldesley probably won’t stop more of these kind of tweets…
https://twitter.com/TallulahMiggins/status/797173205773537281
If I was stuck on a desert island with Glenn Hoddle and a pack of wafer thin ham. I'd eat Glenn Hoddle and talk to the ham #EnglandvScotland
— Tommy Baker (@tommybaker1978) November 11, 2016
https://twitter.com/scfcjase/status/797183455062851584
Don’t let us down, Glenn.
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