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Sport

24th Aug 2015

27 brilliant football jerseys that no one else at your five-a-side will have

Holy shirt

JOE

If you’re going to get shouted at for unnecessary look-away passes, you might as well do it in style.

Sick of getting lost in a sea of Liverpool and Man United jerseys at your local astroturf pitch? Well then bite the bullet and purchase one of these bad boys to set yourself apart from the crowd at your weekly five-a-side match.

ADO Den Haag

This Eredivisie outfit’s shirt looks a bit like an old school Norwich City jersey that ran in the wash… in a good way.

Ado Den Haag

Alianza Lima

The oldest team in the Peruvian First division have a rather modern-looking third kit for this campaign.

Alianza lima third kit

Bhutan

Yes they have a football team.

bhutan-2015-2016-football-kit-4

Carpi

Barely anyone will have heard of the Serie A newcomers let alone have their 80s-inspired shirt.

Carpi

Deportivo Cali

You don’t see too many diagonal stripes on jerseys these days, but this Columbian side managed the tricky design right in our book.

Deportivo Cali

Eintracht Braunschweig

If the majority of your teammates can’t pronounce the club’s name, odds are they’re not going to own the top.

eintracht-braunschweig-15-16-home-kit-1

FBC Melgar

Yet another Peruvian club in case Alianza Lima aren’t your thing.

fbc-melgar-2015-joma-kit-2

FC Carl Zeiss Jena

A metalcore band t-shirt artfully disguised as a fourth-tier German football club jersey. A must have for any metalheads/football fanatics out there.

hsb

Fort Lauderdale Strikers

The beauty of this kit is that you get to watch as the cheerful expression on your friends’s faces slowly disappears as you explain to them that it’s not a Catalunya kit, it’s actually an NASL team who are part-owned by Ronaldo, but not that Ronaldo.

That’ll show them for being polite.

Fort Lauderdale strikers

Fortuna Dusseldorf

One of the many aesthetically pleasing jerseys from Germany’s second tier.

Fortuna-Dusseldorf-15-16-Kit (3)

Houston Dynamo

Not a conventional MLS team for a Brit to adopt as their own, but they certainly have one of the more eye-catching kits.

Houston Dynamo

Chiapas FC

It’s got a jaguar on the front, what more could you possibly want?

Jaguares

Kashima Antlers

Probably the least J-League looking jersey in the Japanese top flight. Could easily pass for an obscure Eastern European club with a kit like that.

Kashima-Antlers-2015-Home-Kit

Las Palmas

For the ostentatious five-a-sider who wears loud apparel to hide the fact that they are actually lacking quite a bit in the talent department. There’s always one.

Las Palmas away

Maccabi Tel Aviv

Admittedly not as fun to say as fellow Israeli side Maccabi Haifa, but Tel Aviv’s back-to-basics jersey is just that little bit nicer.

Maccabi Tel Aviv

Molde FK

Norway’s finest.

molde-fk-2015-nike-kit-8

O’Higgins FC

They may sound like an Irish junior soccer team, but O’Higgins FC actually play in the top tier of Chilean football. Their name comes from one of the country’s founding fathers, Bernardo O’Higgins who had ancestral roots in Ireland’s west coast.

New-Balance-O-Higgins-Kit (3)

Orlando Pirates

A weak effort from Kaizer Chiefs this year sees the Pirates enter our list as the designated South African team.

Orland-Pirates-11-12-Home-Shirt

Persiba Balikpapan

Full name: Persatuan Sepak Bola Indonesia Balikpapan, but you’ll know them as that Indonesian Premier League team with the Rugby League-esque shirts.

Persiba 1

Rayados Monterrey

Like a swankier West Brom jersey.

Rayados-15-16-Kits (3)

Sassuolo Calcio

Another one for fans of lesser known Serie A clubs.

Sassuolo Calcio

Seongnam FC

Have fun trying to convince everyone that you’re wearing a K-League Classics jersey and not a professional Darts player’s polo shirt.

seongnam-fc-2015-arbol-kit-1

Sparta Praha

Czech this out! *laughs hysterically while obnoxiously elbowing everyone in sight*

Sparta-Prague-15-16-Home-Kit (3)

Stade Malherbe Caen

Nothing says hipster like Ligue 1 mid-table fodder. It’s also one of those rare jerseys you can get away with wearing on a golf course.

SM Caen

Sturm Graz

Now, we’re very aware of the fact that this jersey is an absolute monstrosity, but you can always use it to implement the “blind the opposition on your way to victory” method.

Sturm Graz home kit

Urawa Red Diamonds

Another gem from the J-League.

Urawa-Red-Diamonds-2015-Home-Kit (0)

Vancouver Whitecaps

It’s difficult to make white jerseys look interesting, but this MLS effort has enough going on to set itself apart from the others.

Vancouver Whitecaps