Theresa May dances her way onstage to ABBA at Tory party conference 3 years ago

Theresa May dances her way onstage to ABBA at Tory party conference

Theresa May = The dancing hotdog Snapchat filter

This is the political landscape now, no more ridiculous than a McFadden’s Cold War montage, as leaders of nations throw themselves into modernity, or whatever they think modernity is, by tweeting like an angry pre-teen Xbox gamer high on Monster over there, by dancing onstage at a party conference like the infamous hotdog Snapchat filter here.

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There is a desperation now to infiltrate the spaces not typically vulnerable to political discourse, the designated corners of the internet left to their own devices, free to provoke and malign and self-govern using the meme as currency. The one true ruler, the only god.

Which, as she has now made abundantly clear, is all Theresa May hopes to become. A meme.

It appears that this, this, is the bold new plan to bring the Conservative party into the 21stcentury – a Prime Minister creating her own derision, something spurious so it is controllable, manageable, malleable, even for her, and then winking and nudging herself in on the joke.

It’s not a no deal Brexit that could leave the country in ruin, it’s not the food banks, it’s not the NHS on its knees or the hard border in Ireland set to bring back The Troubles.

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It’s – haha, I’m laughing as I type this, haha -  it’s the fact she can’t dance! This is the news story, the big takeaway, the moment captured and shared and discussed and chewed over in the internet articles, articles like this, rather than the the fact that no actual policy was outlined in her speech, nothing but the vaguest solutions offered, no evidence of real leadership beyond conducting the howls of laughter as she clunkily lurched onstage to ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’.

Watch, as she pauses momentarily, arms temporarily ceased from their incessant sway, before reminding herself what the advisors had said. Really sell it, Theresa. They’ll love it. It’ll show you have a sense of humour, that you’re down to earth, that you can brush off this prolonged leadership challenge from Boris Johnson, another meme in a suit.

This is the point, I suppose, that you can't parody self-parody. This is the great Tory defensive formation, like the Roman legions with the tortoiseshell made of shields, so ridiculous from top to bottom that no real discussion can seep in.

In Mad Men Don Draper offers the mantra "If you don't like what is being said, change the conversation". It appears Theresa May didn't, so after first denying national broadcasters the opportunity to interview, that's what happened.

First, create the vacuum, then fill it. What with? It doesn't matter.

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A song. A dance. Something about wheat. As long as it sticks. Fortunately for her, both shit, and memes, usually do.

Are we laughing at her, or with her now? What were we talking about originally? I don't know. I can't quite remember.

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Oh well. It can't have been anything important.