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22nd Nov 2018

WhatsApp’s next update could lead to some very sticky situations

Kyle Picknell

I don’t think they have thought this through

WhatsApp, the now ubiquitous messaging service that rules the world in the form of group chats, has announced that it is working on a new software update.

WhatsApp’s latest software update that they are working on is actually very bad news, ladies and gentlemen. Let me explain why.

Video. Previews.

Again: video previews.

Do you know what that means?

That means that your friends, or, the people that you term your friends because you used to punch each other in the arm in the playground 15 years ago, will be free to send you their wide-ranging nondescript filth by way of your rarely enjoyed, often muted WhatsApp group – Lashers United – which you will now be unable to prevent from flashing up on your phone screen in the form of a video preview in a push notification.

Better look over your shoulder in the office, Weird Dave is sending you some of his weird videos again.

Better not look at your phone on the tube, your long distance relationship has been reached breaking point and your partner is making one last, futile attempt to spice things up and keep the spark alive.

NSFW footage incoming. Lots of it.

Better just switch your phone off, forever, actually, because yer da has you on WhatsApp now and can’t help sharing the disgusting, awful memes his pals send him, via bluetooth, in the pub.

The new feature was uncovered by WABetaInfo, and could mean that short clips will be viewable from the lock screen of your phone.

The functionality is available in version of the Whatsapp beta software and will be rolled out to all App Store users soon.