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6th May 2023
02:28pm BST
A mum has caused a stir on Mumsnet for complaining about her stepdaughter being "greedy" and eating too much fruit.
The child, seven, doesn't ask first, and the mum is on a tight budget as she is on maternity leave with a five-month-old daughter and her husband only works part-time.
The woman, who posted under the name Katey, wants to put a stop to the costly habit, as "the amount seems greedy to me, and beyond what is necessary for a healthy child".
Since posting about the dilemma on Thursday, the fruit quandary has sparked almost 500 replies.
Katey explained that she took in her stepdaughter full-time in January, as she is the "higher earner and breadwinner", but given her husband earns a limited amount, "at the moment, we are on a tight budget". The stepdaughter's mother does not contribute towards her expenses.
She continued, "And one thing driving me crazy is my stepdaughter eating all our fruit."
Katey said during a weekly shop she buys two bunches of bananas and a few punnets of berries, peaches, melons, grapes and tangerines.
The stepdaughter, Katey said, "will eat her way through the lot in two days".
On Wednesday, the stepdaughter ate a punnet and a half of raspberries, three peaches, four tangerines, some grapes, a slice of melon, and two bananas, Katey noted in her post, and that was "on a school day (so she eats this at breakfast and in the evening)."
Beyond the expense, Katey said her stepdaughter was then reluctant to finish her evening meal or try anything she doesn't like, and due to the amount of fruit she was consuming, had experienced a few "accidents".
"In my opinion, this is from bingeing on fruit. She takes it from the fridge without asking and leaves nothing for my husband and I," Katey wrote.
Katey said she had discussed the matter with her husband, whose position is that the stepdaughter is a "growing child and at least fruit is food for her".
"Fair enough I buy fruit partly for her to eat, but the amount seems greedy to me, and beyond what is necessary for a healthy child. I think reasonable is a small bowl of berries and grapes along with a tangerine and banana after school as a snack and then one piece for dessert.
"She can also have melon and banana for breakfast along with cereal and yoghurt. I want her to learn that food costs money, we don't have a bottomless pit of it and you don't just gorge on whatever you want because you are bored/tired/didn't eat your dinner, you ration portions in a family so everyone gets a fair share, and sometimes eat less tasty things to maintain a healthy diet."
Katey admitted that when the young girl moved in, she was "gorging on sweets", rather than fruit, but that resolved quickly because her husband considered the behaviour unhealthy.
In conclusion, the mum stated: "We provide substantial breakfast, lunch, and dinner portions, and I try to accommodate her tastes (though she can't just have fish fingers and strawberries as a diet, which would be her preference)."
Seeking advice, she questioned: "Want to handle this in a compassionate way, would I be unreasonable to stop buying fruit until my husband agrees to a sensible ration for my stepdaughter?"
Other forum users have had mixed thoughts on the fruit issue.
One person suggested the girl was "comfort eating" due to being moved around.
Another took issue with the stepdaughter being viewed as "greedy", but largely sided with the mum: "Unpleasant to call a 7-year-old eating fruit 'greedy'. But it's reasonable to expect her to eat her evening meal before snacking her way through fruit."
A third person wrote: "Not unreasonable at all. That’s a ridiculous amount of fruit to be eating in one day, and like you say, never mind the cost, she is going to end up making herself ill. You can have too much of anything, no matter how healthy it might be! The cost would be annoying me too - that’s easily £5+ worth of fruit in a day."
Another mum added: "My kids would do this if I let them but they don’t, as I wouldn’t.
"They have to put berries in a small ikea plastic bowl (I did it for them when they were little). We can’t afford it and it is a lot of sugar. Offer carrot sticks instead. My kids aren’t allowed to help themselves to anything though I’d rarely say no."
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