‘She keeps telling me that I’ll be the reason that our child would die if I ever held her’
A man has confessed that he is debating divorcing his wife due to the way she’s behaving following the birth of their first child.
Posting to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole, the unnamed 33-year-old wrote that his wife had often complained of how clumsy he is, but that he didn’t think much of it until she was pregnant with their baby.
He wrote: “During the pregnancy she often started to say how she wont let me hold the child because of how clumsy I am. Again, I laughed it off at times and sometimes when I did take it seriously I told her theres a difference between knocking over the TV remote and dropping a kid from your arms.”
The post continued: “Then my child was born and I was shocked at how reluctant she was to even let me hold the baby in the hospital. I suddenly saw her panicking when I was even around the baby.
“It caused a lot of fights and they’ve continued till now. Its been a couple of months and I have not been able to hold my baby more than thrice including once when I held her at the hospital.”
The distraught father added: “I think she is overreacting and I have also suggested going to therapy together but all she said about the suggestion is ‘Talking wont fix your body’.
“She keeps telling me that I’ll be the reason that our child would die if I ever held her and as a father I should realize how dangerous it is and comply with her.
“All this has really affected me and I’ve become a lot more self conscious. Everytime I mess up doing something, she tells me that its proof that what she’s saying is right.”
The father concluded that he had snuck into his daughter’s bedroom to see her, waking up his wife, who ordered him to leave the room.
He wrote: “Day before yesterday’s night, after a fight I snuck into her bedroom after my wife was asleep. I went to my daughter, I didn’t hold her, I just held her hand and looked at her. I was emotional and I did whisper a few things to her (not that she could hear or understand because she was fast asleep).
“But this woke my wife up who was right beside her. She screamed at first and then told me to leave the room immediately. I told her that I was not going to hold her and that I was just there to see her and hold her hand.
“But she didn’t believe me and accused me of being ignorant and selfish. I did lose my temper too and I offloaded these entire two months of frustration onto her.”
The man concluded that he was currently staying in a nearby hotel and could not see any future between him and his wife.
While most in the comments were on the dad’s side, many also suggested the mother of the child is showing signs of postpartum anxiety.
One person wrote: “I’d give your health visitor/midwife/doctor a call and express your concerns before the anxiety manifests itself in more harmful ways. Although preventing a father from bonding and caring for his child is harmful already.”
Another commented: “Divorce is totally your choice, but get her this help first for your baby’s sake.”
A third wrote: “Talk to a doctor. Your wife sounds like she needs help asap.”
Another added: “She is definitely not thinking rationally and needs help to overcome this, have you tried talking to your and her parents about this?”
