Donald Trump is going to text every US citizen with a mobile phone on Thursday
R u up bbz?
The Trump administration is planning on texting every mobile phone in the US on Thursday in a plan to test an unused message alert system to warn the country of any impending national emergencies.
Which would, in fact, have been quite handy on the day of Donald Trump's election.
Who knows what the text will actually say - something about covfefe, perhaps, maybe just a quick and easy 'SAD!' - but let's just hope they make it something worthwhile.
Maybe they could just text around one of the many glorious memes big Don's presidency has given us, or even better, they could really make the most of this incredible opportunity and send everyone in America one of McFadden's Cold War masterpieces, for no other reason than to leave an entire nation extremely confused.
— Cold War Steve (@Coldwar_Steve) August 16, 2018
According to the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), phones will make a unique loud noise and vibrate during the alert.
Not only this, but American citizens will not be able to opt out of the test.
There's no way this could ever go wrong, is there? The government being able to control every mobile phone at will. No sir-ee.
Reportedly, the message will read something along the lines of “Presidential Alert, THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed." Which, if it transpires, would come as a crushing disappointment to everyone hoping for a collage featuring Phil Mitchell and Alan Brazil.
Former US president Barack Obama signed a law in 2016 which required FEMA design a system for the president to send mobile phone alerts in national emergencies.
The president has responsibility for deciding when the nationwide alerts are used, and now that Trump - a Twitter-addicted typo-enthusiast is in control - absolutely anything could happen.
Prepare yourselves, America. If he gets home late one night after one too many, he will be asking if you are up, he will be asking what you are up to and he will be asking if he can come round to grab your pet cat.
Actually, he probably wouldn't bother asking about that last part now, would he?