Oh dear. Will Smith has released a new song and it is very bad indeed
Will Smith is a hero.
Let's get that cleared up right away. Throughout the '90s, most of the '00s and sadly not much of the current decade, Will Smith entertained the people like nobody else.
As a rapper, his family-friendly rap tunes really bounced - songs like 'Gettin' Jiggy With It', 'Summertime' and 'Miami' are still verifiable choons. Then, in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Smith showed us his comedy chops, his irresistible charm, and in a few memorable moments, showed that he could really act; he could really move us.
Then Hollywood came calling. For a long stretch, Will Smith was the biggest movie star in the world. Everything he touched turned to gold: Men in Black, Bad Boys, Independence Day, I, Robot. The man could do no wrong.
Of course, no one stays at the top forever. A few dodgy movies and awkward Oscar grabs later, and Big Willie wasn't so big no more. It's been a while since Will has starred in a genuinely brilliant, massively successful movie; Suicide Squad made a lot of money, but no one could call that success with a straight face.
Recently, Smith has been reunited with his old compadre DJ Jazzy Jeff, hitting up the summer festivals, banging out the classics that are still well-loved today.
But no one wants to be a nostalgia act. Every artist wants to be contemporary, move with the times, bring some new stuff along with the old. For Will Smith, that has taken the form of 'Get Lit', a new, EDM-heavy track, which you can listen to below.
As your ears will have just informed your brain, it is not very good. It is, actually, quite bad. 'Get Lit' is a bargain basement banger that, unfortunately, does not bang. A carbon copy of virtually every other EDM track in existence, you couldn't pick this song out of a lineup if you watched it kill your dog, and if you're listening on speakers, that's a very real possibility.
Will Smith is 48, precisely the wrong age to start trying to produce banging dance tracks. He didn't need to do this. By all means, work on new songs and bring something new for the fans coming to see you, but do what's true to you, not what everyone else is doing (and to be honest, this is what everyone else was doing five years ago).
There is a way for Will Smith's music career to legitimately exist in 2017. There is a song that he could drop that would make people go: "Yes! Big Willie Style is back in fashion," rather than: "Jaden, come and collect your dad."