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03rd Sep 2020

Biffy Clyro have covered WAP and it’s even worse than you think

Biffy Clyro have covered WAP in BBC Radio1's Live Lounge and it's one of the worst things anyone has ever heard, so you have to hear it

Reuben Pinder

‘Wet as Biffy’

I used to like Biffy Clyro. Back in the days of Only Revolutions, songs like Mountains and Many of Horror hit that sweet spot of heavy-pop-rock and they were a respectable band to listen to. Then they went in a bit of a weird musical direction and faded into the abyss.

But they’re back! For better or worse, in this case definitely worse, the Scottish three-piece band are back with a cover of Cardi B and Meg Thee Stallion’s ‘WAP’. Yep, I don’t know why they thought it was a good idea either but it’s happened.

You’re probably trying to imagine how bad it could be, just how brutally have they murdered the song of the moment from two of the most innovative female rappers in the game? The answer to that question is: very. It’s worse than anything you could prepare yourself for. It starts with “there’s some biff in this house” for fuck’s sake.

Here are some of the worst adapted lyrics in the cover. Strap in.

“If you’re not as wet as Biffy, then your riff game weak.”

“Look at my mouth, look at my smile, the water is wet, come take a dive.”

“Follow me, sing with me, Biff down the side of me.”

Lads, what the fuck are you on about.

It doesn’t end there, though. It quickly descends into some dissonant guitar screeches. Then back to another horrible verse, then more guitar screeches, before ending on the line “there’s some Biff in this house.”

You can endure the entire thing by watching the video below, should you want to put yourself through it. Don’t say you weren’t warned.