‘I started a throuple with my boyfriend and a cop’

'When things get complicated, we have the benefit of having three to solve the problem'

Adam Joshua, 27, started dating Zeke Taylor, 24, in 2016 while they were both studying for their engineering degree at university and while the relationship was going well, they decided to also see other people.

And they did, until September 2021, when they met 30-year-old Derrick Kennedy and became a trouple.

It became official in November the following year, after Zeke and Adam said they started to fall in love with Derrick.

Now they all date as a three and plan to get married with the hope of one day starting a family.

Adam, an engineer, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, said: "Our interests aligned straight away.

"We spent a lot of time together through the whole of summer, going on hikes and crazy adventures. When we got into fall, instead of things fizzling out we kept spending time together.

"As things went on we spoke about our life plans and things just aligned.

"One of the coolest things about this experience is to fall in love with someone and share that with my partner. "Me and Zeke got to date and fall in love with someone at the same time, it is so incredible and so unique."

Adam said he doesn't blame anyone for having a hard time understanding a throuple and admits he had insecurities at first.

"No doubt it is unconventional," he admitted.

"I am very fortunate that my family is very supportive of me as a gay person and they are very open-minded.

"I went to my mum and told her the situation and that we were falling in love with Derrick.

"I told her I know it's none traditional but it feels healthy and I did not see a reason not to be in a throuple apart from the fact it is unconventional."

Talking about what he loves about their relationship, Zeke, an engineer, also from Vancouver, British Columbia, said: "The best part of being in a throuple is that it feels like you're spending time with your two best friends who you are also in love with."

When it comes to dating, Adam said that nobody is ever "intentionally excluded" if possible they always try to go on date as a three.

"If all three of us are available all three of us will hang out but if someone isn't available then the other two will go ahead and go for dinner.

"We don't limit ourselves there but we have trust that two of us can go on a date and not intentionally exclude the other one.|"

Adam said that the way they function as a throuple is they all have an equal stake in the relationship.

The engineer said this isn't always the case with throuples and that there is usually a primary partnership and a third but that is not them.

"There were a lot of conversations for this to work and establish that we are all equal.

"It was also interesting because when Derrick came into the relationship as I had a gay couple TikTok.

"At first this wasn't an issue but when we got into this throuple that had to change. "A big changing point was where I felt comfortable posting us as a throuple."

Adam said that him and his partners all experience jealousy but when they do they speak up and talk about how they are feeling.

He said: "Jealousy can be in the crooks of a throuple and why people are scared of getting into one - you have to embrace jealousy.

"We speak up for ourselves if you are feeling two might be cuddling more than the other. Instead of letting that feeling fester you just raise your hands and speak about it.

"Another thing is we look at jealousy in a different way. If one partner is out of town in a two-way relationship the other person would be left alone.

"In this relationship, if one of us is out of town then the other two will spend time together. We see it as a positive that we have someone there for our partner to be with."

Derrick, a police officer, also from Vancouver, added: "I love sharing everything that life has to offer with two incredible life partners.

"When things get complicated, we have the benefit of having three to solve the problem."

Adam said that he and his partners would love to get married and have kids as it is something they have seriously discussed before getting into a throuple.

He said: "All of us want to get married, but we don't have a timeline for that yet.

"It couldn't be a legal married but we want one that is more symbolic with the promise of spending out lives together. "To make a partnership like this work people need to employ honesty and open communication more so than you would in a two-people relationship.

"For us, there are no playbooks, I don't know any throuples, I don't read about any - we had to figure this out ourselves."

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