Christmas as a kid vs. Christmas as an adult

1. As a kid: The countdown to Christmas is a crescendo of excitement and chocolate advent calendars (but you always complained if there wasn't a chocolate for the 25th).

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As an adult: The countdown to Christmas is mostly just panicking that you still haven't done your shopping but have spent all your money on Christmas parties.

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2. As a kid: On Christmas Eve, you're in bed trying to force yourself to sleep at 7pm because the sooner you sleep, the sooner you get your presents.

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As an adult: You roll in steaming at about 3am and fall asleep spooning a Big Mac.

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3. As a kid: You wake up at about 5am and immediately wake up your probably-quite-hungover parents because you're off your tits on pure childish excitement.

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As an adult: You drag your pounding head out of bed at 11am and are thinking more about paracetamol than presents.

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4. As a kid: The first thing you consume on Christmas morning is an entire Chocolate Orange, followed by a bag of chocolate coins and a Cadbury selection box.

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As an adult: The first thing you consume on Christmas morning is a Buck's Fizz. Followed by another.

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5. As a kid: You've opened all your presents in six minutes flat, screamed a lot, and can't remember who anything's from.

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As an adult: Opening presents feels kind of awkward, especially because there's always that one terrible gift you have to pretend to like because your aunt who thought you'd be delighted with your new shower gel is sitting there staring at you.

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6. As a kid: Sprouts are the devil, here to ruin your Christmas.

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As an adult: Sprouts are actually fucking great. Why did we ever doubt the sprout?

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7. As a kid: You absolutely have to win the cracker, so you get the hat, joke and toy.

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As an adult: You really hope you don't win the cracker, so you don't get the hat, joke and toy.

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8. As a kid: Decorating the tree looks something like this.

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As an adult: You care way too much about how it looks, and find yourself constantly rearranging the decorations.

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9. As a kid: You really do dream of a white Christmas.

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As an adult: Fuck that, snow is cold and a massive pain in the arse.

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10. As a kid: You overfill your plate to the point that you're so stuffed you think you may actually burst.

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As an adult: You've learnt nothing, so you still overfill your plate to the point that you're so stuffed you think you may actually burst.

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11. As a kid: You spend all day eating unreasonable amounts of sugar until you crash and fall asleep on the sofa.

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As an adult: You spend all day drinking unreasonable amounts of alcohol until you crash and fall asleep on the sofa.

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