
Lifestyle
Share
Published 23:48 15 Dec 2015 GMT

The TV channel UK Gold asked its viewers to send in short jokes that could be used in Christmas crackers in 2015, here are the best/worst ones they were sent.
1. I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping... He phoned me two days later from Brazil.
2. Why were Jeremy Clarkson’s colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they’d been floored by his punch.
3. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.
4. Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney? He was coming down with the flue.
5. Why don’t Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong.
6. Why is there no Champagne at the Chelsea Christmas party? Because Mourinho got rid of the Fizzy-o.
7. Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked.
8. Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.
9. What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce.
Enjoy crackThe UK’s coolest places to live have been revealed
Time Out has named the UK’s coolest places to live, eat and hang out Time Out has revealed its annual ranking of the UK’s coolest neighbourhoods, highlighting the places making waves for their independent businesses, lively food and drink scenes and cultural offerings. The list was compiled with help from the publication’s nationwide network of […]
Lifestyle
1 week ago
Bank of Mum and Dad has opened a new branch – on the driveway
Parents are spending more than £500 a year helping their kids use the family car The Bank of Mum and Dad has long helped young Brits get onto the property ladder – but now it seems to have opened a new branch on the family driveway. New research from Compare the Market reveals parents are […]
Lifestyle
1 week ago
Save 65% on this Dual Basket Air Fryer with Touchscreen
Lifestyle