When a teetotal Muslim asked the internet what Guinness tastes like 5 years ago

When a teetotal Muslim asked the internet what Guinness tastes like

A pint of Guinness. There's nothing quite like it. Or so I'm told.

As a practicing Muslim, I've never tried it myself. But I've spent many an evening watching pals neck the stuff in various public houses as I nurse a glass of orange juice.


Now I've never been tempted to sup on the dark nectar myself, but have always been somewhat intrigued as to what it is about the cloudy concoction that beguiles so many around the world.

From various inquisitive probings, I do know that it's an acquired preference, but what exactly does it taste of? Is it even possible to say? Is explaining Guinness to a teetotal Muslim like describing a rainbow to a blind man?

Well I asked the internet, and the replies are pure poetry...

Take the best glass of water you've ever had and times it by a million. - @DaveThame

It tastes like disappointment, soft drizzle and relentless boring music. - @robwarm1


Burnt coffee husks boiled and mixed in with a tad of tar and beer. - SwissLaRoca

It tastes like a kiss on the lips of a handsome stranger. - @MatthewStanger

Like mother's milk. If your mother were a mild alcoholic. - @ShanoMufc

If you liquify a loaf of rye bread, you're basically there. - @nevillem

Bittersweet, dark. Excellent with any seafood. - @Linguagroover


A slight coffee-ish taste, at least it does to me. - @kyliewilson

Metallic coffee. With the calorie count of a steak. - @HardyM

Lick a wet lamppost and then get indigestion. - @Sam_Prest

Twiglets blended with cabbage and Kenco. - @666bungle


Like a dark and gloopy supermalt. - @clem_murphy

When someone smacks you in the mouth and you get that metallic bloody type taste. - @EddyRhead

Like trendy Oirish bullshit. - @MercurialContra

Like a truth milkshake. - @homeofpolar


Steel. Not in a good way. - @DamenLG

Like a wet fire. Lovely. - @Mik3Lee

Like heaven. - @MadCyrilUWS

It tastes HEAVY. - @Gary Adey

Like burnt toast. - @antoinl

Disgusting. - @Jay170590

Liquid gold. - @jonkavana

Licking a battery. - @gardz86

Makes you shit turf. - @rkn81

Magnificence. - @RoamingLibero

Roasted mediocrity. - @hahostolze

Cold coffee with vanilla. - @Kate2373

Sour soil. In a nice way. - @lxndrnthrtn

Like an ash milkshake. - @BodyWewrote

Exactly like seahorse tears. - @its_just_young