When a teetotal Muslim asked the internet what Guinness tastes like
A pint of Guinness. There's nothing quite like it. Or so I'm told.
As a practicing Muslim, I've never tried it myself. But I've spent many an evening watching pals neck the stuff in various public houses as I nurse a glass of orange juice.
Now I've never been tempted to sup on the dark nectar myself, but have always been somewhat intrigued as to what it is about the cloudy concoction that beguiles so many around the world.
From various inquisitive probings, I do know that it's an acquired preference, but what exactly does it taste of? Is it even possible to say? Is explaining Guinness to a teetotal Muslim like describing a rainbow to a blind man?
Well I asked the internet, and the replies are pure poetry...
Take the best glass of water you've ever had and times it by a million. - @DaveThame
It tastes like disappointment, soft drizzle and relentless boring music. - @robwarm1
Burnt coffee husks boiled and mixed in with a tad of tar and beer. - SwissLaRoca
It tastes like a kiss on the lips of a handsome stranger. - @MatthewStanger
Like mother's milk. If your mother were a mild alcoholic. - @ShanoMufc
If you liquify a loaf of rye bread, you're basically there. - @nevillem
Bittersweet, dark. Excellent with any seafood. - @Linguagroover
A slight coffee-ish taste, at least it does to me. - @kyliewilson
Metallic coffee. With the calorie count of a steak. - @HardyM
Lick a wet lamppost and then get indigestion. - @Sam_Prest
Twiglets blended with cabbage and Kenco. - @666bungle
Like a dark and gloopy supermalt. - @clem_murphy
When someone smacks you in the mouth and you get that metallic bloody type taste. - @EddyRhead
Like trendy Oirish bullshit. - @MercurialContra
Like a truth milkshake. - @homeofpolar
Steel. Not in a good way. - @DamenLG
Like a wet fire. Lovely. - @Mik3Lee
Like heaven. - @MadCyrilUWS
It tastes HEAVY. - @Gary Adey
Like burnt toast. - @antoinl
Disgusting. - @Jay170590
Liquid gold. - @jonkavana
Licking a battery. - @gardz86
Makes you shit turf. - @rkn81
Magnificence. - @RoamingLibero
Roasted mediocrity. - @hahostolze
Cold coffee with vanilla. - @Kate2373
Sour soil. In a nice way. - @lxndrnthrtn
Like an ash milkshake. - @BodyWewrote
Exactly like seahorse tears. - @its_just_young