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09th Apr 2016

This guy has two weeks to poo in London’s fanciest buildings, and all for a brilliant cause

That sh*t cray

Declan Cashin

Paul Silver is a man with little time to waste. Quite literally.

The 32-year-old, from Enfield in London, is due to undergo an operation in two weeks to treat his Crohn’s disease. The procedure involves his bowel being removed and replaced with a stoma, which is an opening made in the front of the stomach that diverts faeces and urine into a bag on the outside of the body.

Paul refers to this stoma as his “bionic bumhole” – and he’s determined to make the most of his last few weeks of natural bowel movements before the op (called a ‘permanent ileostomy’) on April 21.

Got my Practice Kit for my #BionicBumhole, I think the peg is for my nose. #chrones.

A photo posted by Pauly Pops (@paulyputz) on

He has created a bucket list of high profile places in which to have a poo – all in the aim of raising awareness and some cash for the causes of Crohn’s and Colitis in Childhood. Already Paul has banked almost £1,800 on his fundraising page.

Under the hashtag #MyFinalPoops, Paul is chronicling his dumping experiences on his blog, and already has achieved his goal of sitting on the throne at the top of The Shard.

Among the toilets he wants to take in are ones at Buckingham Palace, the V&A, Harrods, The Savoy, the Houses of Parliament, and 10 Downing Street (though there’s probably enough sh*t going down in there at the moment).

His latest visit was to the facilities at the National Centre For Circus Arts in east London.

CIRCUS

Paul has said that he was been overwhelmed by the positive reaction he’s received since going public with his mission. Or as he puts it in his own words:

“I’ve really been touched in a special place, by the amazing responses, about me losing my other Special Place.”

You have to give the man credit for his amazing sense of humour in the face of such a personal challenge.

A #SubtleMessage of much love RE #MyFinalPoops. Thank you all.

A photo posted by Pauly Pops (@paulyputz) on

Speaking to Vice, Paul didn’t hold back in describing the reality of his upcoming surgery:

“From what I gather, they’re literally sewing it up shut, so I’ll be a Ken doll from behind. From the front I’m 100% normal and functioning.”

He continued:

“It’s made the next three weeks, which was going to be filled with anxiety and uncertainty, a bit of fun. I know a lot of people are laughing at me as well as with me, but I try and make it so you’re not laughing at me too much…I’ve had all these procedures done to me, like colonoscopies, and when it comes to this activity I don’t have any dignity left, and I’m glad that’s gone because I can have fun with that now.”

Fair play to you Paul, and good luck with the mission! If you want to sponsor him, or offer him an amazing loo experience, you can follow him on Twitter or get in touch through his blog.