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27th Nov 2018

This is the worst flatshare advert the world has ever seen

Wil Jones

Looking for a flatshare, anyone?

Living with people is hard. Anyone who’s had to move to a new place knows the hell of searching for a flat, endlessly replying to adverts on flatshare websites, and traipsing off to meet with endless randos and trying to work out if they are secret heroin addicts or pyromaniacs or not.

Everyone has their own horror story – but this correspondence, being circulated online, might be the most insane.

It apparently comes from a flatshare group, that the guy who posted it on Twitter is a member of. They say that someone in the group received it is a response after replying to an advert.

Strap in, guys, it’s a long one, but it is all dynamite.

Particular highlights are:

Encouraging you to use door handles.

No laughing out loud after 11pm.

The writer of a letter spends a lot of time in the flat on their laptop – but you are not allowed to.

Not looking for someone who sits on the toilet several times a day.

No getting up early in the morning.

No cooking between 8.30am and 11pm, though you are allowed to make porridge or use the microwave.

No one who likes baking or preparing elaborate meals.

And maybe best of all, the idea that people only cook meals because they don’t know how to make a sandwich.

There are no contact details, sadly, in case you were interested and no indication whether or not they took the room. But we are guessing they politely declined.